


No Air

by Lisalicious



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Background Hux/Finn, BenPoe/Allewyn Mini-Bang, Blood and Injury, Dubious Consent elements due to Mer Singing, Even more background Rey/Phasma/Mitaka, Flashbacks, Kylo is exiled and lonely, M/M, Mer Magic, MerKylo!, Not Dubious Consent, Panic Attacks, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe is no longer a Pilot, Snoke's Mers aren't Nice, read the notes, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-27 20:11:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 34,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12088500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisalicious/pseuds/Lisalicious
Summary: Ever since he was pulled from the burning wreckage that had been the troop transport he was piloting. After flying through heavy enemy fire, he’d done his best to take the craft down safely. It had been a hard landing. He didn’t know how the troops were faring in the back. Poe started to think he might not survive when the rescue crew found him. He wasn’t entirely sure he had been awake at the time, but he’d heard it. “Commander Dameron! Are you okay, sir?”Four months passed. He was depressed. His therapist told him it was only natural. She told him it was completely normal for people to have Survivor’s Guilt. He told her he was never going to fly, and take other people’s lives into his hands only for them to die. She asked him what he planned to do, what direction he would go with a career. Poe wasn’t sure, but he felt it was time for him to move on...Finn  convinced Poe to join him for an extended stay at Hux's family's Summer estate. Poe wonders if it's such a great idea to spend time there when he meets a mysterious man down on the pier. After that, everything changes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tenukii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenukii/gifts), [gaylo_ben](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaylo_ben/gifts), [Peppypear](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Peppypear).



> For the Mers in this story (at least the ones of Snoke's clan), I decided to base their nature on the Mermaids in 'Pirates Of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' where they sing to lure their human victims to the water. In this story it's like the Mersong hypnotizes people which makes me tag it as dub-con elements. This doesn't really show up until later chapters, I will let you know which one(s).
> 
> Also, I may add other tags as I come up with them, and post more chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey folks! I'm enhancing some of the chapters with art!!! This chapter features part of the mood boards that Peppypear created for this fic. They're amazing as are her other mood boards. You should totally check out her Tumblr blog: https://peppypear.tumblr.com/

“Poe, are you okay?”

The question was asked of him for what felt like the millionth time over the last four months.

Ever since he was pulled from the burning wreckage that had been the troop transport he was piloting. After flying through heavy enemy fire, he’d done his best to take the craft down safely. It had been a hard landing. He didn’t know how the troops were faring in the back. Poe started to think he might not survive when the rescue crew found him. He wasn’t entirely sure he had been awake at the time, but he’d heard it. “Commander Dameron! Are you okay, sir?”

He wasn’t…well, officially he was. He only sustained minor injuries and some smoke inhalation. He walked away from the wreckage. Physically he was fine, but then he turned back to look at the downed plane…He asked about other survivors, begged that is rescuers go back, there must be somebody who survived…someone other than himself. He knew better, he could clearly see the damage the craft had sustained, but he couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he lost them all. He’d failed on a mission, a simple and easy one.

Poe didn’t know what to do.

And they asked again, “Commander Dameron! Are you okay, sir?”

It opened the proverbial flood gates. The doctors asked. His commanding officers asked. The psych team charged with escorting him back to the States. His friends. His therapist. Everyone. EVERYONE!

Poe blamed himself for the death of every single person lost when the shuttle was shot down. He knew part of it was survivor’s guilt. But…he couldn’t let it happen again. He couldn’t let any more people down. He couldn’t be the reason any more people died. So, as he sat in the field hospital waiting to speak with the field psychologist that would approve his recovery leave, he decided he was done flying. He resolved to never get into a cockpit again.

The next nurse that walked in asked the horrible question.

The only person who never once asked the question was his father. But Kes knew better. He knew his son wasn’t okay. He knew his son was lucky to even be alive, let alone on US soil. Kes knew that Poe knew how close he’d been to joining his mother, and they cried together in a mix of relief and sorrow.

Four months passed. He was depressed. His therapist told him it was only natural. She told him it was completely normal for people to have Survivor’s Guilt. He told her he was never going to fly, and take other people’s lives into his hands only for them to die. She asked him what he planned to do, what direction he would go with a career. Poe wasn’t sure, but he felt it was time for him to move on.

She also regularly asked him if he was okay. He wanted to punch her in the face.

Now he got that feeling for everyone who asked him those damn words.

His roommate and best friend, Finn, asked the dreaded question as they were driving along the coast.

Poe moved in with Finn not long after returning to the states. His therapist advised that it wouldn’t be a good idea for him to live on his own in his current condition, and, as Pops lived on the other side of the country, Finn was the next likely answer. Poe knew it would be pointless to argue with Doc knowing how dark his mood was. Finn had offered before Poe even finished explaining the situation. It turned out Finn hated seeing his best friend depressed as he was.

A week prior to their trip Poe had somehow allowed Finn to talk him into an extended vacation of sorts, a time to get away from what his life had become since the transport had been shot down. Hux, an old friend from their days at the Academy, as well as Finn’s on-again/off-again currently on-again boyfriend, had invited them both out to his family’s summer retreat on the coast. As far as Poe knew, it would be the three of them there with other friends from the Academy coming and going as they please. And there would be plenty of relaxing activities to enjoy.

Poe knew it should be good for him. That it would help him to be around people. Around friends. Even if he would be the only single person mingled with a bunch of couples and more than couples.

He was looking off into the distance, Finn had been talking about something or other that Poe lost interest in about 5 minutes earlier, when Finn asked…

“Poe, are you okay?”

Poe jumped. He pushed down the bitter clench he felt at the question, and looked over at Finn. He sighed.

“I’m sorry. I just…” He let the comment drop.

Finn reached across and gripped his shoulder.

“It’s alright, Poe. I’m just worried about you.”

“Yeah…I know. I’m sorry. Just got lost in watching the scenery pass by. How much longer until we arrive at the Hux compound?”

“About ten minutes…are you sure about this, Poe? I mean….we are planning on being there for at least three weeks.”

Poe didn’t look at him, but he nodded.

“Yeah, I talked to my therapist, and Doc’s alright with the break. She said getting away from the apartment would be good for me. Being around friends would be good for me. Just having air to breath would be good for me.”

“Okay.”

He gave Poe’s shoulder another squeeze. Then put his full attention back on the road. Poe got lost in the scenery again. He honestly didn’t feel as if anything would be good for him anymore.

They turned off the scenic highway onto a small, gated, private drive. Poe thought momentarily about asking Finn how he knew where to go, but he was certain that his friend had been there before. He paid a bit more attention to their surroundings now and was surprised at how long it took them to arrive at their destination. The path wound through acres of wooded hills that made him think of old horror movies with haunted mansions on stormy nights. It made him smile for a second.

It was like the difference between night and day when they pulled into the clearing, an expanse of green grass for what seemed like miles. The path lead through to the lawn up to what he’d heard Finn refer to as the main house.

“That’s where we’ll be staying, I think,” Finn explained. “When I’ve been here before, Hux and I were down at the beach front cabin.”

“I forgot how well off Hux is that his family has an estate like this, with a main house and a beach front cabin,” Poe chuckled.

“There’s a woodland cottage, too.”

Poe wiped his hand over his face.

“Good grief.”

Finn openly laughed.

“Yeah, well, we both thought this might be a good place for you to…take some time…consider what you’re going to do with your life now that you’re discharged and not going back.”

“What? You think Brendol Hux or Martelle would let me take up residence in one of the places on their vacation property?”

That made Finn laugh all the harder.

“No! It’s just that…” Finn stopped short.

“What?”

“Well, Hux and I have been talking about moving in together. I know that I’ve signed a lease, and you know I’m with you as long as you need me. Your health and happiness are more important to both of us right now.”

“Oh…I…” Poe felt like his stomach dropped out of the car and they were leaving it behind them on the path. “So…you guys are finally deciding to make a go of it?”

“Yeah…I think it’s going to work this time. I know that things have been rocky, but…”

“It’s okay. Hux is an asshole, but he’s also very loyal, and generous, and his heart is in the right place. I’m glad you’re happy with him…and I’m sorry that my life has fallen apart. It has been really great of you to be there for me, but I can’t stop you if you want to get on with your life.”

“Poe, I’m not going anywhere. Not yet. Maybe in six months, maybe in a year. When he and I are ready for that step. And when you’re ready to be on your own. I wasn’t going to tell you yet. I mean we only just started talking about it, and it’s not like Hux ran out to buy us a condo and engagement rings. You know we hadn’t talked for about six months before we ran into each other at the coffee shop. I’m not in any hurry.”

“Sure, buddy. Sounds great.”

***

Hux wasn’t there when they pulled up to the house. The doorman explained that he had run out for groceries as he showed Poe where he would be sleeping and lead Finn to Master Armitage’s quarters. Poe was left in a bedroom that was twice the size of his own that had a seating area and large TV, along with an en suite bathroom. Poe could definitely get used to living there. He actually unpacked his belongings.

Then he opened the curtains to take in the view. It looked down on the coast, which was separated from the main house by a few more acres of gardens. The beach front cabin was off a bit to the left. There also was a boat house, and a low pier. The beach was covered in white sand, and there was an outcropping of rocks roughly half a mile to the right down the coast.  

Poe felt a pull to run down there immediately, but he knew he should wait for Hux to return and to be shown the house and grounds properly. It was strange. It felt almost like, down on the pier, Poe would find what he needed to come to terms with being shot down. With being the reason everyone on that transport died. He could come to terms with never flying again.

Maybe he would be able to move on and start a new life.

***

Poe was staring out at the beach and the pier from floor to ceiling windows in the main entertaining room when Hux returned. He wasn’t sure why he felt drawn to the beach…to the ocean, but he couldn’t seem to tear himself away from staring. He barely heard the footsteps walking up behind him.

“It’s breathtaking, isn’t it.”

Poe jumped at the crisp, clipped cadences that were Armitage Hux speaking. It was the gentleman and commanding officer in him. It was also the fact that his father sent him to boarding school in England as well as military school. It was how he made statements more than ask questions. One was meant to agree with him he, therefore, didn’t give them the option to come up with a contradictory answer.

“Yes,” Poe answered. “I was barely able to tear my eyes away from the view to come down here.”

“Quite.”

He knew Hux was studying him. That Hux was concerned about him. Everyone was concerned about him. He also had a strong feeling that if Hux asked him the question he would punch him in the face.

“It’s good to see you, Commander Dameron.”

Poe half scowled, but half smirked. He wondered if Finn had let on about how much he hated _the question_ , but he also found himself suddenly despising hearing his former rank.

“That’s not who I am anymore, General.” He finally tore his gaze from the coast to see Hux’s reaction to his own left behind title.

The slightest flinch of annoyance crossed his face before it melted to a look of sympathy; something that Poe knew had come from Hux’s time with Finn. When they’d known each other at the Academy, Hux considered sympathy and compassion for others to be a weakness. It took him falling in love to melt some of the ice that he was known for.

“Poe, you are brilliant and charismatic. People follow you without you having to make an effort to earn their respect. You fly better than anyone I have had the fortune of meeting, and, let me tell you, me growing up in my father’s circles, that is saying something. You were born to lead, and born to fly…”

“You know why I can’t go back, Hux. You know what happened. I’m supposed to be the best? I couldn’t protect them. I couldn’t save them…I shouldn’t have walked away from that wreck as the only survivor. I shouldn’t have walked away at all.”

Hux scowled.

“I wouldn’t let Finn hear you say something like that.”

“Worried he’ll never feel safe leaving me, so he can move in with you?”

Hux actually looked shocked. Then he had the decency to look a bit ashamed.

“We…weren’t going to tell you for a while.”

“Finn let it slip. I don’t think he meant to.”

Hux looked disgruntled.

“Don’t worry. We agreed that he would stay with you as long as necessary. Your health is more important to us than our happiness…I mean our moving forward.”

Poe was sure Hux didn’t mean to say it, that this crisis in his life wasn’t keeping them from being happy. But he knew that Hux was feeling it. The only reason Hux didn’t say it on purpose was because Finn had taught him to filter, and that people would like him for more than his money and military prowess if he were a bit kinder with his words. Insults still slipped out, but they were admittedly fewer than they had been. But he never apologized for them.

Offended, Poe turned away from him and looked back out at the water. Maybe he made a mistake agreeing to spend 3 weeks there.

Finn eventually joined them, breaking what had become a rather uncomfortable silence with Hux refusing to apologize for being rude and Poe staring down at the beach. Finn had an amazing ability of making any situation better just by being there, so the tension dissipated as soon as he walked into the room.

Hux then offered a tour of the grounds. Poe gladly agreed, and he was finally able to pull himself from the window.

***

That night Poe couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t put a finger on a reason. The house was silent. He couldn’t even hear the wild lovemaking that was certainly happening wherever Hux’s quarters happened to be. The half-moon showed into his window, but that normally wouldn’t keep Poe awake.

He was restless.

He pushed himself out of the bed and walked over to the window. He blinked down at the water, staring at it for five whole minutes.

They had toured the beach cabin, looked at the watercraft in the boat house, and walked out on the low pier. Poe wanted to stay down there for the rest of the day, but Hux and Finn insisted that they finish the tour of the grounds and return to the main house. Dinner would be served in an hour. Hux knew the house staff would refuse to relocate the meal down to the pier.

Poe resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn’t get back down to the pier for the rest of the day, and knowing the full day Hux had planned for them, he wouldn’t get down there tomorrow either.

But, now, there he was. Fully awake and staring down at the beach. He grabbed a zip-up hoodie and his pair of beach sandals and snuck out of his bedroom suite. The house was dark and spooky, and Poe grinned to himself as he remembered thinking how the drive to the house reminded him of old horror movies. Surprisingly, he made it through the house without running into any of the staff, but they were probably sleeping. It was 2 am after all.

He left the door to the patio cracked open. Then he turned to the gardens.

It wasn’t that they were specifically designed as a hedgerow maze, but in the middle of the night Poe was certain the place was meant for intruders to the grounds to get hopelessly lost until they were properly apprehended. Poe wasn’t sure how long it took him to navigate his way through. He just knew how relieved he was when the garden opened to the path that lead to the cabin, beach, and, his destination, the pier.

He felt a release of tension the second his feet hit the slick, salt wet wood of the pier. The waves weren’t so high as to overcome the low pier, but the resulting spray had coated everything. It was even starting to coat Poe. He didn’t care, though, he welcomed the damp sensation.

The night sky, the half-moon, the dark water, the low rolling ways, the sounds of the night and of the water, the mist, the slick wood beneath his feet…all of it gathered together and for a few short moments Poe felt at peace with the world.

He wandered to the end of the pier. He considered sitting on the edge to see if his feet would reach the water. He was about to do it when a number of things seemed to happen at once.

First, there was another sound. One that put Poe on edge. Like something was thumping on the pier behind him…coming towards him…it was definitely getting closer.

Next, when Poe slowly turned to see what made the sound, telling himself it had to be one of the household staff or Finn or Hux, and he saw nothing. The noises had stopped, as if he’d caught whatever it was and it stopped. But nothing was there.

Then he heard the splash behind him. Not of the waves, but of something being dropped in the water, or something diving.

Poe, forgetting that the pier was slippery, turned quickly to catch a glimpse of what was in the water. His feet slipped out from under him and he toppled into the water.

He knew how to swim. It shouldn’t have been a problem. But between whatever had made the noise on the pier and the splash in the water and the temperature of the water, Poe couldn’t think properly. He just drifted downward in the water unable to come up with a proper reaction.

Then something solid was behind him and wrapped around him. It pulled him up out of the water, propelled him upwards, and pushed him onto the pier.

Poe pulled himself up further onto the pier as he choked out water and gasped for air he hadn’t realized he’d been missing. He rolled onto his back as a cloud covered the moon, and he pushed himself up slightly just to look and see what was there.

Poe tried to scream, but he couldn’t.

There was something dark hanging on the end of the pier. It was large, definitely bigger than himself. He couldn’t tell what it was. He was mere feet away from it, but without the moon light he couldn’t make out any details. Panicking he pushed himself further back onto the pier. His arms slipped and he went back down banging the back of his head on the wood.

He thought he heard another splash.

When he pushed himself upright again the cloud covering the moon moved on, the dark figure at the end of the pier was gone, and somehow he knew whatever it was wouldn’t be back that night.

He laid back and let out a breath of relief.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mr. Dameron, what on earth are you doing out here at this time of night?” he chided. “You’re soaking wet! Did you fancy going for a swim at 2:30 in the am?”
> 
> “I…” Poe considered telling the man about being on the pier, the thudding noises, falling in, and the creature who he now realized saved him. But he also knew just how crazy he would sound. While he was aware of the fact that he was in the middle of a crisis in his life, he did want people to think he hadn’t lost his mind completely. “I couldn’t sleep. First night in a new place. I thought a walk on the pier would be nice, but I didn’t expect the wood to be so slick from the wave spray. I fell in, but pulled myself out right away.”
> 
> The next day Poe tells Finn and Rey about what happens and is disappointed when they don't quite believe him. Then days later there's a party. Poe isn't prepared for any of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI - Poe had a panic attack and flashback in this chapter. I don't go into that specific of details, but I'm putting out the warning if reading that sort of thing bothers or triggers you.

Once Poe was feeling up to moving again he pushed himself to his feet realizing that he’d lost his sandals. He would just have to deal with sand and stone as he made his way back up to the main house. He was surprised how quickly he made his way through the gardens. Perhaps his haste to get down to the water had hindered his way down.

When he reached the veranda he stopped. He turned back and looked down to the water, and he felt drawn back already. He almost started back down the paths that would lead him to it once again, but the pull was interrupted by Mr. Lars, head of the household staff.

“Mr. Dameron, what on earth are you doing out here at this time of night?” he chided. “You’re soaking wet! Did you fancy going for a swim at 2:30 in the am?”

“I…” Poe considered telling the man about being on the pier, the thudding noises, falling in, and the creature who he now realized saved him. But he also knew just how crazy he would sound. While he was aware of the fact that he was in the middle of a crisis in his life, he did want people to think he hadn’t lost his mind completely. “I couldn’t sleep. First night in a new place. I thought a walk on the pier would be nice, but I didn’t expect the wood to be so slick from the wave spray. I fell in, but pulled myself out right away.”

“Hmmm,” the man eyed his bare feet with a raised eyebrow. “Well have you had your fill of night time strolls? You should probably get out of your wet things, and actually try to sleep.”

“Yeah…that’s a good idea. I’m, uh, sorry about being wet.”

“Indeed! Well, the floor should dry by the morning. Master Armitage will be none the wiser. Let’s get you inside.”

For some reason Poe was also glad that Mr. Lars would be keeping his night time adventured a secret. He wasn’t sure why, but he’d rather not have his host know he went for an unplanned, unintended late night swim.

He looked back at the water one last time before following Mr. Lars inside.

***

Poe woke late the next morning. He stumbled down to the dining room to find Finn eating breakfast surprisingly alone. He managed to sit down next to his friend as the server brought him a full plate and a large cup of coffee. Poe thought he could get used to the prompt service if he let himself.

“You look rough!” Finn sounded surprised.

Poe took a large gulp of coffee, and actually looked at Finn.

“You don’t…must have been a good night for you.”

“It was…decent.”

Poe snorted. “Decent. You look like you slept with a fucking hanger in your mouth. Where is the ginger fireball anyway?”

“He had a call from headquarters. There was an emergency with some form of combat armor design, a fault that could be deadly, that he needed to take care of. He’s in his office. Hopefully he won’t have to work too long.”

Poe nodded then and yawned. “It is good work that he does, but I thought he was on vacation.”

“Yeah, but he needs to be accessible with something like the armor is so close to the production date. It’s one of the reasons why we’re staying here.”

“I’m the other one?”

“Maybe, but it means you’re as important as his job.”

That made Poe smile, something that didn’t happen so often anymore. Then Finn continued.

“So what’s the story? Why do you look like you were ridden hard and put away wet?”

“Well, I kind of was…I…I couldn’t sleep last night, so I went for a walk,” Poe answered once he downed the rest of his first cup of coffee.

“We didn’t keep you awake, did we?”

“NO! I’m pretty sure most of this place is soundproof. I, uh, it was 2, and I walked down to the pier. The water was a bit rough, and the spray had made the wood really slick.”

Poe considered telling Finn everything…about the noises behind him, about falling in, about whatever that thing was that saved him, how it seemed to disappear back in the water. Would his friend think he’d gone completely nuts? Or would he at least try to believe him, but insist they tell Hux as well. Hux would probably pack him up and drop him off at a mental hospital.

“You decide to go for a swim as well as a walk?”

“I…yeah, but I…there was something-“

“Well, I think that crisis is now averted,” Hux announced as he walked in. He strode up beside Finn and kissed him. Then he looked to Poe. “I didn’t know if you would join us this morning Poe…you look like you could have used a few more hours sleep.”

“Yeah, I was awake quite a bit last night, but when I woke up I couldn’t get back to sleep.”

“Hmmm, well, I’m sure you’ll sleep tonight after they day we have planned.”

“Right, sure.”

He glanced at Finn, who he knew hadn’t missed the fact that he shut up the moment Hux walked in. Finn raised his eyebrow in question as Hux walked over to the buffet for the coffee pot as the server prepared a plate for him.

Poe leaned towards him and whispered, “I’ll tell you later, after Rey gets here.”

Finn nodded.

***

That afternoon Rey arrived with her lovers Dopheld Mitaka and Christine Phasma (like Hux, everyone just called her by her surname). Poe still wondered how that all came about, but they seemed extremely happy in whatever you would call their relationship. Rey never seemed interested in anyone, and then one day she’d managed to come across two. She and Phasma were two forces to be reckoned with, and they somehow managed to pull the quiet, reserved Doph out of his shell. Poe had always been friends with Rey, but he was surprised how well he liked all of them. And they were even better together.

It took some work to get Finn and Rey to himself, together, at the same time. It was getting close to dinner time before he did. Hux didn’t linger around too much, but Doph and Phasma tended to hover whenever Poe tried to talk to Rey by himself.

“Don’t they trust us?” Poe asked.

“Of course they do!” Rey answered as she took a seat across a table from him in the library.

The room also had a view of the beach. Poe found himself staring again. He wanted to go back down there. Even after whatever happened.

“Can I get you anything to drink, Darling?” Doph asked as he poked his head in the door.

“No, Doph, thank you! Finn brought drinks for us.”

“Alright. We’ll be in the parlor with Hux.”

“Okay. I’ll find you.”

He nodded, and waved to Poe and Finn quickly before he left. As soon as the door shut Finn turned to Poe.

“So what happened last night?” Finn asked. “You looked like you had more to tell when Hux came back this morning.”

“Yeah, I did,” Poe started to explain. “I think there was something else out there last night.”

“What are you talking about?” Rey asked, confused.

“I couldn’t sleep last night, and, you know, there’s something about the water. So I walked down to the pier at 2 am.”

“Wasn’t it rather dark outside?”

“The moon was out. I was able to see well enough because I made it down there. The pier was pretty slick from the spray of the small waves, but it didn’t stop me from walking out to the end.”

“So how did you end up in the water?” Finn inquired.

Poe once again considered just what he should tell his friends. But he trusted both Finn and Rey, and maybe they could reassure him that it was nothing. That it was the water playing tricks on him. That he wasn’t going crazy. That there wasn’t some sea creature that had startled him so he fell in the water, then pushed him back up onto the pier. So he told them…

But what had saved him?

“Then a cloud covered the moon, so I couldn’t make out whatever it was. I just know it was…huge, definitely bigger than any of us. Then my hands slipped and I fell back and hit my head on the pier. When I pushed myself back up, it was gone.”

Finn and Rey looked at Poe with incredulous expressions on their faces. Poe’s heart sank; they didn’t believe him. Even worse, he was sure they thought he might be losing his mind.

“Poe...” Rey started patiently. “Are you sure all that happened?”

Finn looked over at Rey for a moment before catching on at what she was thinking. Poe frowned at both of them.

“You said you hit your head, right?” Finn asked.

“Yeah.”

“Well, maybe that confused you a bit,” Rey took over again. “Made you think you saw things you didn’t.”

Well at least that was better than thinking he was bonkers.

He blinked and thought about what they suggested for a moment.

“I guess. But what about everything that happened before I fell in the water?”

“The hit to the head could have affected those memories, too,” Finn commented, now looking at Poe’s eyes as if to catch if he had a concussion.

“So…it’s just my head messing with me,” Poe huffed at them. “That makes me feel better.”

They both looked like they had more to say, but Poe suddenly felt he didn’t want to hear another word. Maybe he would prefer it if they just thought he was crazy. He knew he hadn’t imagined what happened to him. He knew it wasn’t just a bump to the head that caused him to remember things that didn’t really happen.

Poe stood up and started towards the door; he was quite upset that they didn’t believe him even though he knew how ridiculous the story sounded.

“Poe?” Rey called after him.                

He stopped at the door, and glanced back at them.

“I thought… we were better friends than that. I thought that you might give me the benefit of the doubt on this. I guess I was wrong. I’ll talk to you later!”

He was out of the library and walking towards the patio door before they could stop him again. He stopped when he was at the edge of the Patio and stared down at the water.

As much as he tried, Poe was unable to go back down to the pier, at least not by himself. Rey and Finn stuck to him like glue after he left the library so abruptly. Poe was still a bit upset that they didn’t believe him, but he knew that the events were very unusual, bizarre even, and extremely doubtful. He honestly couldn’t blame them, but for some reason he’d expected them to believe him.

He knew why they didn’t, and he knew he sounded crazy. But he could still feel it wrapping around him and propelling him back to the surface.

And he wanted to see whatever it was again.

***

There were people everywhere; in every room, out on the patio, out on the front lawn, and scattered through the gardens. Poe had tried to retreat to his own bedroom, but Hux intercepted him before he made it to the doorway of the main entertaining room.

“Don’t run, Poe,” he insisted. “We’re celebrating.”

“Hux…I’m…crowds…I’m not good with crowds right now. It’s-“

“Nonsense! Your being here means a lot to me and it means a lot to Finn!”

Poe felt tears prick the corners of his eyes, the overwhelming sense of too much closing in on him. His nerves were shot thanks to the hustle and bustle of the crowd of people Hux had invited for whatever this celebration was meant to be. Part of his mind wanted to argue that he was stronger than this, that he could manage the crowd, that he always had. He looked away from Hux and nodded. He would try to stick it out longer. For Finn.

He had a feeling this might be the longest night he would have in the week that he’d been at the estate.

He floated around the party after that, feeling detached and ignoring the panic that was simmering just below the surface. He recognized a large number of the people there, he smiled and waved when they called out to greet him, and he even graciously answered a few questions when they asked what had happened. But Poe was tired of the sea of faces; he hadn’t been ready when the fact that there would be a party was sprung upon him at breakfast that morning. He had nearly panicked, then Rey came and gave him a warm hug and reassured him that they would all be there to support him.

He was down in the gardens when Rey found him. He knew he’d been slowly drifting down to the pier, almost as if there was something calling him there, as if he could hear a siren’s song calling him to where he needed to be. Before his feet could carry him there he felt Rey’s hand stop him.

“We’ve been looking for you everywhere!” she exaggerated.

“Have you?” Poe questioned, surprised how cynical he sounded. “Because I’ve been around, and this is the first I’ve seen of you since the party began two hours ago.”

Rey looked sheepishly at him. “I’m sorry, Poe! I said I would be there for you, and I’ve been with Doph and Phasma the whole time.”

“I know, sweetie,” Poe sighed. It was impossible to stay mad at Rey for much of anything, though it still bothered him that Finn and she didn’t believe him about whatever had been in the water. “You’re in love. It’s hard to pay attention to anything else when you feel that way.”

Poe glanced back down to the shore as Rey hooked her hand under his arm and pulled him back towards the house. He wasn’t sure just why she was pulling him back, and why it bothered him so much to stop his slow pursuit of the water, but he felt like he was being dragged back to prison. He knew he shouldn’t mind being at the party. He knew he should enjoy being around people, like he had before. He knew he should at least play happy guest at a party thrown by his friends, but his heart wasn’t in the social scene anymore.

Rey brought him into the main house, right into the main entertaining room, to the very front of the crowd of people, to stand in front of Phasma and Doph. It seemed as if all the party guests were there, gathered around the grand fireplace that Hux and Finn stood in front of.

Poe wasn’t sure exactly what to make of it, but he knew something big was happening. Finn looked confused, and Hux looked uncharacteristically unsure of himself. Then, what surprised him the most, he was basically enveloped by Phasma, Rey, and Doph and he had arms around him all over. It felt rather nice, but he wondered why they were showing him this random burst of affection since it was really not normal for Doph or Phasma. He even wondered for a second if the three had some idea that he might become their forth.

Then Hux took Finn’s hand and went down on one knee.

So much for them not pressuring him to hurry through his recovery.

Poe couldn’t process anything for a few minutes, and he missed the beautiful words the Hux said as he poured out his heart to Finn. But he saw Finn’s tearful reaction and his mouth forming the word yes as he nodded. Poe moved forward with the crowd once the happy couple had kissed. He hugged them both and didn’t lie when he told them how happy he was for them.

Finn pulled him aside when Hux called for champagne, and he hugged Poe again.

“Thank you for taking this so well,” Finn whispered loud enough for Poe to hear him over the din of people.

Poe stepped back to look at the glowing Finn.

“Did you know?” Poe asked, not sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

“I had no idea. I really didn’t. Poe, this doesn’t change anything. We’re still going to make sure you are okay before anything happens. Hux knows that it’s a stipulation to making this work.”

Poe smiled sadly.

“Are you sure about that?”

“It will have to be, or I’ll change my answer.”

Poe hugged Finn again, and that’s when the first champagne bottle popped. And Poe jerked in Finn’s embrace and tensed up. “Poe?” Another cork popped off a bottle, and he couldn’t breathe. He gasped, but his lungs lost their ability to function. It terrified him. “No!” he gasped. “Poe? What?” More loud bangs as more bottles were opened, and for every one Poe slipped from being in a room with close to one hundred party guests to being back in the plane. “Poe, talk to me, what-“ Poe shook, the noise of the room full of people became the whining engines as the aircraft failed. “I can’t!” He tried to push away from Finn who was holding him tightly. He started to blindly fight as he realized there were tears running from his eyes. “Poe! Poe, talk to me! What can’t you do?”

Poe broke away from Finn and stumbled down to his knees. The mass of people around them swam and wobbled around him. He looked up at Finn, desperate and terrified.

“I CAN’T SAVE THEM!!”

The room went silent, and Poe knew he’d gained everyone’s attention. All eyes were on him, and now they were all horribly aware that he had failed a mission that cost the lives of so many soldiers. He nearly curled up on the floor right there and bawled. He would have if the server hadn’t opened the last bottle of champagne right behind him. He ran out with the bang of the cork, leaving friends and strangers alike at a loss of what had just happened.

***

He’d been singing softly since he’d sensed the presence of someone new in the domain on the hill. Not like the fleeting presence of those that would only stay for a few mere hours, and not the presence of those that called the land domain their home. This was one who felt lost, and Kylo knew that this was the one he’d been waiting years for. This was the one who would be able to help him return to his clan.

And so he sang knowing that the song would only hit the ears of the one he wished it to. And knowing that as the song grew louder and louder, and the pull of it would eventually draw them down to the shore. Once that happened he would make his presence known, play it with a gentle hand, and slowly coax them into the water with him. He would make sure they came willingly because he’d been told it was always sweeter when they came willingly.

He couldn’t say for how long for sure, but it had been years since he’d been forced from the clan with the order that the only way he would be allowed to return is if he brought someone to them, a sacrifice they had said. And he was determined to go back. He’d lost one family a long time ago when he was only a youngling; he refused to have another taken from him forever.

He lost himself thinking about his family, the one that had shunned him for doing the forbidden; something that he had trouble coming to terms with being wrong. The Walkers deserved life as much as anyone, so he’d saved the young man he had befriended. When the clan leader, Snoke, found out what he’d done he was forced out. He’d been so lonely for so long…years.

When he shook out of his thoughts he realized that he’d stopped singing. He didn’t think it had been too terribly long, but he needed to start again lest he lose his hold over the one he sang for.

As he sank under the surface and opened his mouth to let his song start to flow with the water he heard it.

Another song.

It wasn’t quite anything he had ever heard in his memory, sad and heart breaking in tone and perhaps words. It was not meant to cast a spell to draw others in, but that was the effect it had on him and he began to swim towards the small pier to hear it clearer.

” _If I had wings like Noah’s dove_  
I’d fly up the river to the one I love  
Fare thee well, oh honey, fare thee well…”

When he surfaced again under the pier he could tell it was him, the one he’d been singing to. He had to keep himself in check and not jump right up on the pier, but he was delighted that he’d come down on his own. There had been others with him after that first night when he’d fallen in; it was almost like they were trying to protect him.

_”I had a man who’s long and tall_  
He moved his body like a cannon ball  
Fare thee well, my honey, fare the well…”

There was something about his voice, something warm and wonderful as he sang, that made him forget just why he was there under the pier. He felt entranced, and he had the immediate need to see the face of the one who was singing, to see if he could stop the deep ache the song left in his heart.

He dove to propel himself up to the side of the pier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Poe sings here is from Inside Llewyn Davis, specifically this version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU3sXJcx_vI   
> The rest of the song will be finished in the next chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Singing was something his mother had taught him to do when he needed to bolster his mood, to build up his courage, or to calm his nerves. He actually ended up with a bit of a reputation for singing in the cockpit while flying missions. Sometimes it inspired his fellow pilots, others it just annoyed them. Either way, it was one of his favorite ways to cope with stress. So he opened his mouth and started to sing an old song he’d heard on a movie that seemed to always stick with him.
> 
> _“I remember one evening in the pouring rain_   
>  _And in my heart was an aching pain_   
>  _Fare thee well, oh honey, fare thee well…”_
> 
> As he finished the third verse of the song he heard the splash, the same type of splash that he heard that first night. With hours of daylight left, Poe dove for the side of the pier and looked all around the water for whatever might have caused it. There was nothing that jumped out at him, though.
> 
> He sighed, and started wondering if maybe Finn and Rey were right. It was the bump on the head that had caused him to hallucinate the rest of the whole ordeal.
> 
> “Please, do not stop. You sing beautifully!”
> 
> ...Poe meets a beautiful stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few more mentions of Poe's panic attacks along with his coping mechanisms.

Poe had regained the ability to breathe once he’d settled down on the pier. It didn’t seem to give him the calm feeling it had any other time he’d been down there, but he blamed it on the panic attack and flashback he just experienced up at the main house. His heart was still pounding and his limbs were shaking, but he’d calmed greatly from running down through the gardens.

He’d had panic attacks rather frequently since the plane was shot down, and it usually happened when he was in noisy crowded areas or when he thought about getting in the cockpit again. He hadn’t exactly expected to react this way to the party, but looking back it was both avoidable and, thanks to being pressured to stay, inevitable.

He started to walk himself through the coping mechanisms that his psychiatrist had given him when it did happen in public. He handled the removing himself from the situation that had triggered the attack rather spectacularly and quite visibly. He felt lucky that nobody followed him right away, though he was fairly certain that was due to Finn’s holding them back. The idea made Poe heave a sigh of relief, hovering people would only make it worse. He knew he would eventually need to return and apologize for the disruption. His breathing had calmed, and deep breaths and listening to the water move beneath him helped to slow his heart rate back to normal.

He just needed to calm his mind. The psychiatrist had given him a wide variety of ideas on how to do that, from listing reasons why he was safe where he was, to making up stories to distract himself, to listing all the reasons why it happened and what he could do to avoid, prevent, and eventually come to terms with things that triggered him. At the moment the only thing that seemed remotely appealing to him was to start singing.

Singing was something his mother had taught him to do when he needed to bolster his mood, to build up his courage, or to calm his nerves. He actually ended up with a bit of a reputation for singing in the cockpit while flying missions. Sometimes it inspired his fellow pilots, others it just annoyed them. Either way, it was one of his favorite ways to cope with stress. So he opened his mouth and started to sing an old song he’d heard on a movie that seemed to always stick with him.

_“I remember one evening in the pouring rain_  
_And in my heart was an aching pain_  
_Fare thee well, oh honey, fare thee well…”_

As he finished the third verse of the song he heard the splash, the same type of splash that he heard that first night. With hours of daylight left, Poe dove for the side of the pier and looked all around the water for whatever might have caused it. There was nothing that jumped out at him, though.

He sighed, and started wondering if maybe Finn and Rey were right. It was the bump on the head that had caused him to hallucinate the rest of the whole ordeal.

“Please, do not stop. You sing beautifully!”

Poe nearly fell off the pier again, he jumped so badly, but he was able to catch himself before he toppled in this time. He turned towards the voice, internally cursing whichever party guest had the nerve to follow him. But it wasn’t one of the guests. There was a man hanging on the other side of the pier, and Poe just sat there and stared at him, his mouth comically hanging open.

The man had gleaming black hair that was most likely shoulder length when dry, but it was longer, hanging around his face, wet and it seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. His eyes were a golden brown color and they drew Poe in so much it was hard for him to look anywhere else. His nose and ears were on the large side, and his lips were full and plush, but they worked together, and Poe was shocked at how beautiful the man was. He glanced down for a moment to see that he had muscular arms, shoulders, and chest. The rest of him was obscured by the pier.

Poe felt as if he should be terrified, but he also felt like he was the safest he’d ever been in his life.

“How… How did you get there?” were the first words that came out when he was able to speak.

“I swam.”

“Swam?” Poe looked around for a boat, or another house, or something that would explain the random appearance of the strange man. “From where?”

The man pointed towards the rock outcropping half a mile down the coast line.

“I live over there.”

“You…you live... But that’s such a long way to swim.”

“I swim farther than that every day,” he said with a slight chuckle.

“Are you an Olympian?”

The man looked confused. “A what?”

“I mean are you an athlete? Do you compete in swimming events?”

“Oh, no, I just swim a lot. Constantly, I guess. You should keep singing. Your voice… I thought only merfolk could entrance people with their songs, but I would give almost anything to hear you sing again.”

Poe felt himself blush. He pulled his knees up towards his chin and wrapped his arms around them.

“I’m not that good.”

“Yes, you are.”

Poe should have questioned everything about the man, but he didn’t. For whatever reason, he felt like it was completely normal for there to be an extremely gifted swimmer who just happened to be swimming by at the right time to hear Poe singing in order to calm himself.

“What’s your name?”

“Kylo. And what is yours, singer whose voice has enchanted me?”

“Poe.”

“Will you sing the rest of your song to me, Poe?”

He answered with a crooked smile, “Okay.”

Poe normally wouldn’t sing in front of others, though he had heard many times how much people appreciated his voice. He just didn’t feel like it was that special. But for this Kylo, he found himself willing to do as he asked.

_“Muddy river runs muddy and wild_  
_You can’t give a bloody for my unborn child_  
_Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well…_

_Just as sure as the birds are flying above_  
_It don’t mean nothing without the one you love_  
_Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well…_

_Fare thee well, my honey, fare thee well…”_

Kylo smiled shyly at him.

“The song is so sad. I wish I could take that pain away.”

“That’s a very nice thought, but… There’s more pain in me than a sad song from a movie.”

“Why do you feel such pain, Poe?”

“I… was a pilot, and I am the reason that an entire transport plane of troops was shot down. I’m the reason all those people are dead.”

Poe felt the tears falling down his cheeks again; as if once it started earlier the tears would fall again at the drop of a hat.

“The transport was… attacked?”

“Yeah…”

“Then how are you responsible?”

“I was flying the transport. I should have turned back or…or something. I should have been able to save them.”

“But if you were attacked would you have been able to turn your ship back?”

“I… I was supposed to be the best. The one who could fly through anything, the one who could take on any mission and succeed, but I failed.”

“You lived.”

“But the others didn’t, and I was responsible for their lives.”

Kylo dropped from the side of the pier. Poe wondered for a moment if he’d done or said something to upset the man and maybe drive him away. Maybe he didn’t like the fact that he was crying. Then the man appeared beside him on the edge of the pier, and he stared at Poe’s face. Then he leaned in to get a closer look.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked leaning back slightly as Kylo, very much larger than him, leaned even further into his personal space.

“Your eyes… they are… wet... leaking,” Kylo sounded as if he were in awe.

“Yeah, I guess that happens when you cry.”

“You are crying... because you are sad and in pain.”

Poe raised an eyebrow in confusion, but nodded at Kylo. He was now close enough for Poe to see a smattering of moles and freckles across his face as well as the rest of him. And once again he found himself drawn to the eyes that were looking at him so intently.

Then Kylo raised a hand and with graceful long fingers he traced the tear tracks down Poe’s face. He watched as Kylo pulled his hand back to examine the tears he’d apparently caught. A  visible sniff, a small flash of tongue to taste, and he said, “Salt.”

Poe watched in confused fascination as Kylo did that, and he tried not to pull away. It was especially hard when the man moved even closer, close enough that he could feel the heat coming off his body. Then Poe closed his eyes as those plush, soft lips started pressing kisses along where his tears had fallen, starting right under his eyes and ending down at his chin. He shivered at the tenderness of the kisses and almost wondered if Kylo would finish by kissing his lips.

But he didn’t, and Poe opened his eyes to see that he was hovering so close. If he had wanted to, he could have stolen the kiss he thought he was going to receive. Poe thought better of it, though, because he was in no mental situation to be able to handle a relationship. Not even a summer fling. He was just too messed up.

“I don not want you to be sad, Poe. I want you to be happy. Maybe I can help.”

Poe moved back then, needing to put some distance between them. If he stayed too close he wouldn’t be able to turn Kylo down for whatever he had in mind.

“Look, Kylo…I’m just not in a place right now for a fling or a relationship or… I can barely handle my friendships right now. And as... gorgeous as you are, I just… I can’t. I’m sorry. Th-thank you for kissing away my tears, nobody’s ever done that for me before.”

Kylo looked a bit disappointed, but he didn’t back away.

“Perhaps I can see you again? I would like to try something; even friendship if that is alright with you. I think perhaps you need me.”

“I…” Poe’s resolve was crumbling. He knew if he agreed to see him again that it would be difficult to draw a line at friendship. He was just so attracted to Kylo, he’d never felt so drawn to somebody. “Yeah, we can try to be friends. I’ll try to get back down here on my own on Sunday.”

“Sunday? What…?”

Poe grinned and chuckled. “I have issues remembering what day it is sometimes, too. It’s Friday. So not tomorrow, but the next day.”

“At this time?”

“Yeah,” he replied softly. “Wait for me…if I don’t make it down exactly on time. Please?”

“Of course, Poe. I look forward to seeing you again.”

Poe pushed himself backwards on his butt, away from Kylo, but he didn’t break their eye contact. He bit his lip.

“Yeah… yeah, me, too.”

Kylo smiled again. Then he pushed himself back off the pier to start his swim back to his home.

Poe felt breathless, but this time in a good way. It wasn’t a good idea, not at all, but he couldn’t convince himself to stay away.

First, however he would have to make it through the next couple days. Hopefully his friends weren’t too upset with him over his unfortunate outburst.

***

“Are you alright?”

Poe was beyond surprised that the one to rush to him and hug him fiercely, very clearly worried, was Hux. Hux barely hugged Finn in public, so this was very out of the ordinary for him.

“I am now. I’m sorry…the champagne. I…”

“I should have considered it, Poe. I knew you were on edge today. I should have thought to have the champagne opened and poured in the kitchens.”

“But my outburst; it interrupted and ruined your happy moment.”

Hux pulled back from Poe and gripped his shoulders. Poe still felt so ashamed that he didn’t meet his eyes.

“Poe, you did nothing wrong. You had a panic attack and flashed back to the crash. My carelessness is what triggered you. It was my fault.”

Poe considered arguing the point, that it was his own fault because ultimately he was the one who was shot down in a non-combat situation. Then he remembered that Hux was one of those people you couldn’t argue with because you would never win.

He glanced up and Hux and nodded.

“I…thanks, I guess. Still, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be. Now, is there anything any of us can do to help you?”

“No. I-I should probably head up to my room where it’s quiet. Going down to the pier helped, but…maybe I should lie down. I also need to call Doc, and let her know what happened.”

“Alright. Send a message down if you need anything.”

“Thanks, Hux.”

Hux squeezed his shoulders, then turned back to engage his guests.

Poe started up the stairs that lead to the guest rooms, and he started thinking about Kylo. He blushed at the memory of the man kissing the tears from his face. It was so unexpected, especially from somebody he had just met. And he seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. It was so strange, almost as if exactly what he needed showed up at exactly the right moment.

But that was crazy. Poe knew he needed to think about his mental health before he ever considered anything like a relationship. Even a fling could mess his recovery up. Poe wasn’t sure if he really wanted to stay away from him, though.

Also, Kylo didn’t just appear out of nowhere. He was a neighbor of the Hux estate. Poe could probably walk and find Kylo’s property quiet easily. He could even ask Hux about the man; Hux’s parents may not have acknowledged the neighbors they had to have, but Hux was a better person than them.

Poe almost turned around to find Hux right away, but he stopped himself. He wondered if it was a good idea to tell any of his friends about meeting Kylo after the response he received regarding what happened that first night. He’d keep it quiet; perhaps tell Doctor Kalonia, she could advise him about a romantic relationship at least. He’d wait to tell Finn, Rey, Doph, Phasma, and Hux until after he’d seen and spoken to Kylo more.

***

Kylo had been waiting for a few hours, and the sun was starting to hang low in the sky. He started to wonder if Poe wasn’t coming after all, and he wanted to slap himself to not keeping up the continuous song. But it hadn’t felt right to keep singing when the man could sing so perfectly and beautifully that it entranced Kylo. It was only supposed to work the other way around, and he couldn’t understand why the opposite had happened.

And, oh, how Kylo wanted to see Poe again. He tried to tell himself it was simply because Poe was the key for him to go back to his clan, but deep down he knew differently. He was drawn to the man with the golden, sun kissed skin, the sad yet glowing dark eyes, and curly hair that was nearly as dark as his own. He’d never been drawn to another of his own kind like he was to Poe. It made his heart speed up just thinking about him.

Kylo sighed as he pulled himself out of the water and all the way onto the pier. He sat there and watched as his tail quickly transformed into long, awkward legs. Then he pulled a pair of shorts out of the satchel he’d brought with him. He knew how the Walkers covered themselves, and he figured it was a smart idea to do the same.

Kylo liked to spend time out of the water, lying in the sun and walking along the shore. He knew if he had ventured further he may have already found one to bring to his clan, but he also knew he was far from most people and he only had so long out of the water before he would lose his tail. He’d witnessed it more than once by other merfolk that had pushed the limits, and stayed out too long. He had no desire to become one of them.

Kylo leaned back, propping himself up on his hands and soaked up the sunlight while he still could. He closed his eyes enjoying the warmth that was normally tempered by the water. He didn’t mind living in the Ocean, but he always felt very content when he ventured onto land (once his legs became accustomed to walking again.) Even as he waited for Poe and expecting him not to show up, he felt relaxed. He quietly started to hum.

“Kylo?”

He jumped as pulled himself from his relaxed contentment. He hadn’t even heard anyone approaching because he’d been so lost to it. The hum died in his throat as he glanced back over his shoulder to see Poe standing there and he gasped.

In the amber light of the low hanging sun Poe seemed to glow. His skin appeared to emit its own bronze light, his hair a dark, curly halo to his breathtaking face. Kylo swallowed thickly, hurried to his feet, and stumbled towards him.

His face flushed as he stopped in front of the man and realized how large he was compared to Poe, and pale…and freckled. Poe’s skin, including his mostly bare legs, was bronze and mostly unmarked; in contrast, Kylo’s skin was pale from living mostly under the water, and from what time he did spend on the surface and on land his skin had developed offensive tiny dots all over. He’d been teased mercilessly by his clan mates over it before he’d been banished. And now Poe was staring at him, at all of him, and he was certain he was about to be mocked again.

“I was starting to think you were not coming,” he said quietly as he turned away, and stumbled again.

Poe caught him before he fell into the water, and Kylo cringed at their size difference again. Why did he have to be so much larger than the other man while he had his legs?

Poe however had a smile on his face as he looked up at him and an expression of wonder in his otherwise sad eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he replied. “I came down as soon as I was able to, but my friends are being protective of me. Especially after what happened at the party on Friday.  They didn’t want to let me go off on my own, so it took a while to sneak off without anyone noticing.”

“It is alright…you are here now.”

Yet, Kylo wanted to edge away from him. He shouldn’t be feeling inferior to a human ever, he was Mer for ocean’s sake; but he suddenly felt lacking and the feeling only got worse the closer he was to Poe. He should be the one drawing the human in and making him tremble, not the other way around.

Then Poe moved a little closer and reached up as if to touch his hair, but stopped so his hand hovered close for a moment, then dropped. “Your hair, there are streaks of red and gold in it.”

Kylo turned back to Poe. He hadn’t expected a comment about his hair; he’d expected disgust over his size or the state of his skin. Poe’s other arm was still aroun him to hold him steady, and he didn’t seem in any hurry to draw away. Poe was not disgusted by him in the least, Kylo recalled him saying he was gorgeous when they met the other day. He smiled down at him warmly.

“It happens in the setting sun,” he explained. “The light picks up the colors that do not normally show.”

“It’s stunning.”

“Thank you…”

His smile turned shy and he turned away again. However, this time he glanced backed to see if Poe was still looking at him with the awe in his eyes. He was happy to see that he was.

Kylo was starting to have trouble remembering why he was interested in Poe to begin with, and how he intended to use him to be welcomed back to his clan. It was hard to think about it with how dazzled he’d become by the man.

Then Kylo saw Poe’s face fall. He dropped his arm and backed a few steps away from him. It was almost as if he knew what the merman had been thinking about for a brief second. That he knew that while Kylo seemed genuinely interested in him, it was only because he was means to an end.

“So, do you want to stay and sit on the pier?” Poe asked, swinging his arms for something to do with them.  “Or should we take a walk along the coast? Find a better spot to watch the sunset?”

Kylo noticed Poe glance up at towards the main house, and he wondered if he was worried that they might be interrupted. The thought of somebody finding them definitely wasn’t ideal.

“Let’s see what we can find along the beach.”

Kylo smiled when Poe offered his hand, and he gladly took it in his own lacing their fingers together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Poe sings is from Inside Llewyn Davis, specifically this version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU3sXJcx_vI  
> What I forgot to do in my notes at the end of the last chapter is... Thanks to gaylo-ben for suggesting I use a song from Inside Llewyn Davis. It was brilliant, and I hadn't even considered it. So thank you, hun, for the awesome idea!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux had known when he announced that he was treating everyone out for a helicopter ride along the coast that Poe would likely decline. And decline he did, almost angrily. He never had any intention of going up in any aircraft again, as much as he could avoid it. Visiting his father on the East Coast would be the main exception to the rule. But this? This was too much too soon.
> 
> So he stayed back, and if he used it as an excuse to spend the whole day with Kylo…
> 
> He grinned as he pushed open the door to the patio. He was about to start running for the shore when his phone rang. It confused him because everyone he would expect to call him was on their way to a glorious helicopter ride or busy with appointments for the afternoon…except his father.

It had been ages since a guy had made him feel this nervous, and he wasn’t even supposed to be interested in him. He’d talked to Doctor Kalonia; and while she said it was ultimately up to him whether he pursued anything or not, he had to keep his current mental state in mind and the likelihood of how the relationship would end. _If it ends,_ Poe thought. Then he rolled his eyes at himself. _If it ever starts._

Poe had been sneaking down to the water to visit Kylo for over a week and they had not moved past reasonably platonic touches. Yes, they held hands more often than most people who weren’t dating, and, yes, he had taken to catching Kylo whenever he first tried to walk after getting out of the water. (“I’m just better in the water,” the man had explained.) And Kylo did seem to like touching him more than what was entirely normal, too, but again it was nothing that would make Poe believe it was more than a platonic friendship.

But since the taller man had kissed the tears from his cheeks, Poe couldn’t stop thinking about how those lips would feel pressed against his own. He had even started dreaming about it which was a pleasant relief from the nightmares he’d been having since being shot down. He even caught himself staring at Kylo’s lips multiple times, and, oh, how he wanted to taste them.

He just wasn’t sure how he should approach it. Should he just pull Kylo down without warning? Should he tell him that he changed his mind about not being more than friends? Should he try to give Kylo signals that would show him he’s interested, but ultimately leave the whole kiss thing up to him? Poe didn’t know what to do, and wondered if maybe he shouldn’t do anything at all because he was supposed to go back home in a little over a week.

If that was the case, he probably shouldn’t have been dressed in his blue swimming shorts, his favorite red tank top, and his favorite zip-up hoodie. He shouldn’t sunglasses resting on top of his head, his cell phone in a hoodie pocket to be able to listen to music if they want, and a towel tucked under his arm in case they decide to go swimming. He should be staying up at the main house and enjoying the peace and quiet.

Hux had known when he announced that he was treating everyone out for a helicopter ride along the coast that Poe would likely decline. And decline he did, almost angrily. He never had any intention of going up in any aircraft again, as much as he could avoid it. Visiting his father on the East Coast would be the main exception to the rule. But this? This was too much too soon.

So he stayed back, and if he used it as an excuse to spend the whole day with Kylo…

He grinned as he pushed open the door to the patio. He was about to start running for the shore when his phone rang. It confused him because everyone he would expect to call him was on their way to a glorious helicopter ride or busy with appointments for the afternoon…except his father.

Poe pulled his phone out, and, sure enough, the incoming call was from his father. His father whom he called almost daily since he’d been home because he knew he would be worried. He knew his father hated leaving him for work, so Poe promised to call and call often. And right up until a week earlier, right up until he had a panic attack and a flashback, right up until he’d met Kylo, he’d kept his promise.

“Pops!” he answered. “Hey, I…uh…”

“It’s good to know you’re still able to answer the phone,” Kes responded, “since you’ve clearly forgotten how to make calls to your father.”

“Pops, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to not call. I…I forgot.”

“Poe Eberardo Valerio Dameron, you do not forget something like this! Not after what you’ve been through. Do you know how worried I was? I figured you might have gotten caught up in whatever you’re doing at Hux’s place for a couple days, but it has been over a week. I was ready to get on a plane and hunt you down. If it hadn’t been for Finn, I probably would have.”

“Finn? Did he call you or did you call him?”

“Does it matter? It should have been you telling me how you are, not him.”

“I… Pops, I’m sorry! It’s just…I’ve been really distracted here.”

“Distracted enough to sneak away from everyone, and not bother calling your father.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Poe didn’t answer. He hadn’t told anyone about Kylo except Doctor Kalonia, and to tell his father now seemed like it would be telling some very important, long kept secret. He didn’t know if he even had permission to tell anyone. Did you need permission to tell people you were actively flirting with somebody you were falling for, had no idea if it would ever go anywhere, and hoped and prayed that it would?

“Poe?” The worried tone in Kes’s voice made his stomach clench. “I need you to tell me what’s going on. Are you okay? You’re not…you haven’t started…”

“Pops, I promise the only drugs I’m on are the meds that Doc prescribed.”

“Then, please, tell me what’s going on!”

Poe started on his way down to the shore since he didn’t want to be late to meet Kylo. He also didn’t want the house staff to overhear him when he told his dad about him. He waited until he made it down into the gardens before he started.

“Okay, Pops, here’s the deal,” he explained as he checked around to make sure the coast was clear. “I… I met somebody.”

“You…you…you met somebody?”

Poe felt himself grin in relief. Pops didn’t sound angry or like he would fly out and drag him home. He sounded open to the idea of his son having a relationship.

“Yeah.”

“At the party?”

“Sort of.”

“The same party where you had your panic attack and flashback?”

Poe worried his lower lip.

“Finn told you about that, huh?”

“Yes, Finn told me about that. So you met a guy at the party?”

“Not exactly.”

“I see.”

“Well, I left the party after I had the attack. I ran. Down to the pier, and nobody was around. So I was able to calm myself, listen to the water, not have a bunch of people hovering, you know?”

“Yes, son, I know your coping mechanisms.”

“Then you know what I did next?”

“You started singing.”

“I did. And that’s what got his attention. He was swimming by, and he heard me singing, and he came to the pier. He scared the crap out of me at first. But he asked me to finish singing the song, and I did.”

“You must like him if he got you to sing in front of him.”

“I…yeah…”

“You know, I’m a bit surprised that Finn didn’t mention anything about him.”

“Finn doesn’t know. The only person I’ve told is Doc, and, well, now you.”

“Which is why you’ve been sneaking off, leaving your friends and father worried.”

“Pops, I’m sorry!”

“I know, son, but it doesn’t make it alright. What does Dr. Kalonia have to say about it?”

“She’s wary of it because of how I’ve been since…you know, but she said it’s ultimately up to me.”

“Which means you’re going to pursue it because it’s you. Okay, Poe, you might as well tell me about him.”

“Well, he’s stunning, Pops, I mean I’ve never seen anyone who looks like him before. He has the darkest hair I’ve ever seen, so black, and long, but in the sunset it glows with red and gold streaks. His eyes are a golden brown, and so expressive. And his face, it’s like something you see in old paintings or roman statues...and his ears…I think he hates them ‘cause they’re a bit big and stick out, but they suit him. He’s also pale, which is surprising since he swims and rarely wears a shirt. And he’s gorgeous, I mean, he’s big and strong, and tall, really tall. But he’s awkward on his feet because he’s a swimmer and he says he’s better in the water than he is on dry land. And I swear when he smiles at me my heart stops.”

“You know, looks are all fine and good, but there’s more to people than that.”

“Yes, I know, but I thought I’d cover the looks before I moved on to the important stuff.”

Kes chuckled at his son. “Alright, Poe, go on.”

“He’s unbelievable, Pops. He’s one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. He hates to see anyone or anything in pain, and he will do anything he can to help with it or anything else. He’s different than other people, too, like I think he might have grown up cut off from normal society, not Amish, but maybe home schooled or maybe his parents were hippies or something. He’s different, but in a good way. And you know how I said he’s all big and strong? Well, he’s incredibly gentle, like I don’t know if he really knows just how powerful he really is because he acts like he’s afraid I’ll break or something. And, Pop’s?”

“Yes, son, I’m still listening.”

“He reminds me of mom.”

Poe heard his father gasp on the end, but he didn’t say anything in response.

“Pops?”

“Sorry… It’s just that you’ve never said that about anyone before.”

“I know, but I’ve never felt that way before. I told you, Pops, he’s different.”

Kes hummed into the phone.

Poe looked up as he walked onto the beach where Kylo waited for him.

“How long have you felt that way?”

“Since we met during the party. I started crying again when he asked me why I was in such pain, and I told him about being shot down and how I was responsible for those soldiers losing their lives… and he came over to me and kissed the tears from my face and said he didn’t want me to be sad and that maybe he could help me be happy.”

“And does he?”

“I haven’t been this happy in a long time, and he hasn’t even kissed me yet.”

“Ah, Poe…”

“Pops, there’s more to relationships than making out with people.”

Kylo looked up at that moment and bounded to his feet. Then he stumbled his way over to him.

“Poe!” he grinned as he came to a stop in front of him.

“Is that him?” Kes asked.

“Yeah, Pops.”

Kylo cocked his head to the side and looked at Poe’s phone in curiosity.

“Can I speak to him?”

The smile on Poe’s face fell a bit.

“I… Yeah, sure, Pops.” Poe lowered his phone and pressed the mute button for a moment. “My, uh, father would like to talk to you.” His smile came back as he saw Kylo’s apprehension. “It’s okay. Pops is nice. I think he’s just a little curious about you. I know we haven’t exactly told anyone that… that we’re friends or whatever, but I needed to tell him.”

Kylo looked reluctantly at him, but he nodded. “Alright, Poe, I will talk to him.”

Poe grinned, and handed over the phone. Kylo blinked at it for a few moments, then Poe remembered to unmute phone for him. Then he continued down the beach towards the pier, knowing that his father would want to talk to his _friend_ without worry of him being overheard.

As soon as he was far enough not to make out words over the sound of the ocean he stopped and spread out his towel to sit on. He settled himself down on the towel and unzipped his hoodie to remove it, and then he started to apply some waterproof sunscreen to his uncovered skin. As he rubbed the lotion into his skin he began to hum what he thought was a random tune, but after a while he realized it was the same one that Kylo hummed when he seemed happiest.

Poe liked that he picked it up. And he liked how Kylo smiled at him when he walked over with the phone and heard the tune coming from him.

“Your father wants to talk to you again,” he said sounding pleased, and handed him his phone.

“Hey, Pops,” Poe greeted again.

“Okay, Poe, you have my blessing with this guy, but you need to be mindful of how you are doing and how you are feeling. If things start to get too difficult for you to handle you tell him, and you tell your doctor. You hear me?”

“Yeah, Pops, I hear you.”

“Good. Now go have fun. He’s waiting on you.”

“Okay. I love you, Pops.”

“I love you, too, Poe.”

“I’ll call you in a day or two.”

“You better!”

“Bye!”

“Bye!”

Poe ended the call and tossed his phone down on his hoodie. Then he looked up at Kylo who was standing over him looking nervous. He quickly stood up, jumped at Kylo, and threw his arms around his neck. Kylo stumbled backwards a bit, but he caught him and instinctually held Poe against him.

“I’m not sure what you said to Pops, but thanks,” Poe whispered in his ear.

***

It wasn’t supposed to go this far. They weren’t supposed to be like this, Kylo wasn’t supposed to feel like that, like he would do anything to keep Poe smiling at him like that, like he would do anything to make sure Poe was safe and protected. He wasn’t supposed to be anxious to see him again, and he definitely wasn’t supposed to miss him when they weren’t together. He wasn’t supposed to want to hold him, to touch him, to be as close as he could. He wasn’t supposed to want to hear him sing again. He wasn’t supposed to want anything but to draw him in, and to lure him out, and get him to agree to go under.

Poe was only supposed to be the means for Kylo to return to his clan, but Kylo knew that wasn’t true, that it hadn’t been true since he spoke to him for the first time. He started to wonder if he would ever see the people he had considered his family since he was young, but he also started to realize that it meant he could keep Poe.

Poe had been asking for close to an hour to swim, but Kylo was wary of it after speaking with Kes Dameron. He promised the man that he would take care of Poe as long as they were together, and Kylo honestly didn’t know just how closely his clanmates were watching him.

_“You listen to me, Kylo!” Kes said sternly. “My Poe, he’s an amazing person. He naturally draws everyone to him; it’s why he was a leader in the Naval Air Forces. And when he falls for somebody, he falls hard and fast. For whatever reason he has set his heart on you, but you need to understand something. My boy has been through something terrible, he’s not entirely himself, and he may never be again. He is very important, not just to me, to a lot of people. A number of them are staying at the Hux estate with him. We are all very protective of Poe. We love him. I need to know that he’s safe with you, that you’re not going to just drop him, and if things seem too difficult that you’ll do what’s right by him.”_

_“Mr. Dameron…Kes?...You have my word that I will do anything to keep Poe safe and happy. I… if things get too difficult for us, I a_ _m not going to just run away, but I will give Poe the space he needs to… to recover. I promise!”_

The words had flowed from his mouth without a thought, and he meant them. And that meant that he could not let his clanmates find out about Poe, not ever.

“Kylo?”

“You will not accept my answer of no, will you?” Kylo had to grin at his tenacity.

“Well, I don’t intend to, but I wasn’t going to ask to go swimming again, yet.”

“Oh…okay, what did you want to ask?”

“The song, the one you hum. The one I started humming today. What is it?”

The question surprised Kylo. While he’d consciously heard Poe humming it, and it made him smile to hear, he hadn’t thought much more about it. Only that a song from his own past sounded perfect coming from Poe.

“It’s a song my mother sang to me to help me sleep when I was very young.”

“A lullaby?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Were there words to the song, or just a tune?”

“There…there are words, but my mother… I was not very old when my first clan was attacked. That was the last time I saw her.”

Kylo was surprised how much thinking of his mother still affected him and how much he still missed her. It wasn’t something he necessarily wanted to talk about, even with Poe. He considered pushing himself off the pier to return to the cove he called home. What stopped him was Poe’s hand finding its way into his own, lacing their fingers together.

“I’m sorry, Kylo. I didn’t mean to bring up something painful for you. My mother died when I was just a kid, too.”

They sat there for a while in silence.

“How did your mother die?”

“She was shot down, like me.”

“But you survived.”

“Sometimes I don’t feel like I did.”

“Poe, I am so sorry.”

They were quiet for a while, again, and when Poe spoke again his voice broke with emotion. Kylo squeezed his hand, and Poe inched closer to him.

“The-the song… Do you remember the words?”

“I think so.”

“Then will you sing the song for me?”

Kylo looked down at Poe to see tears running down his face again. He leaned over and kissed the side of Poe’s head near his temple. He was nervous and scared about singing again, not knowing how it might affect Poe now that he wasn’t trying to draw him in and pull him under. But he knew that crying meant sadness and pain, and Kylo had promised to keep Poe safe and happy. So he lifted his free arm to wrap around him and keep him close, kept his forehead pressed against the side of his head, and sang softly into his ear.

 _“Sea-birds are asleep_  
The world forgets to weep  
Sea murmurs her soft slumber song  
On the shadowy sand  
Of this elfin land

 _I, the mother mild_  
Hush thee, oh my child  
Forget the voices wild!  
Hush thee, O my child,  
Hush thee  
  
Isles in elfin light  
Dream, the rocks and caves,  
Lull’d by whispering waves,  
Veil their marbles  
Veil their marbles bright,  
Foam glimmers faintly white  
Upon the shelly sand  
Of this elfin land;  
  
Sea-sound, like winds,  
To slumber woos and wins,  
I murmur my soft slumber-song,  
My slumber-song,  
Leave woes, and wails, and sins,  
  
Ocean’s shadowy might  
Breathes good-night,  
Good-night…  
Leave woes, and wails, and sins,  
Good-night… Good-night…  
Good-night…  
Good-night…  
Good-night… Good-night…”

Poe shuddered and sighed, and Kylo could almost feel the sadness melt away from him. He lifted his free hand to wipe the tears from his face, and he cuddled against him.

“Thank you,” he sighed almost contently, and Kylo smiled.

Then Poe moved closer again, practically crawling onto Kylo’s lap. He had turned so they faced each other, and moved even closer. Kylo instinctively wrapped a protective arm around Poe to hold him steady. He couldn’t tear his gaze away from the other man’s face, and it was so close… too close and getting closer. He could barely breathe when Poe stopped close enough that their noses bumped against each other and Kylo could count the tear drops that still clung to his eye lashes.

“Hey, Ky,” was breathed across his face, and Kylo flushed both at the warm breath and at the shortened version of his name. Both things he liked and both things he was afraid he shouldn’t. And were Poe’s eyes always so hooded?

“Hey, Poe,” he breathed back.

Poe’s eyelids closed all the way and Kylo’s eyes widened as Poe closed the distance between them, but his eyes fluttered shut when he felt the first soft brush of lips. He was still fighting with his mind about how he should not want to press forward and deepen the kiss like one would kiss their mate, about how he shouldn’t want to pull him closer, about how he shouldn’t want to have it happen again and again and again, forever.

But all that happened was the maddeningly soft brush of lips against his own, and then Poe was pulling away from him. Kylo released an undignified noise of disapproval at the loss of all contact, and he looked up to see Poe pulling off his shirt (not that he would ever complain about that.)

His mouth watered at the distracting sight, and he didn’t realize what was happening in time to stop him. Poe turned back to the end of the pier and took two large strides before diving into the water.

“POE!” Kylo yelled after him and jumped to his feet. “POE, WAIT! IT’S NOT SAFE!!”

Kylo wasn’t supposed to care about him. He wasn’t supposed to be attached to a human. He wasn’t supposed to want to keep him safe and protected.

He was supposed to lure him to the water, take him under, and give him to his clan. But Kylo couldn’t because he’d promised Poe’s father that he would take care of him. And he’d promised it because he fell in love with the man who was supposed to be his prey.

And Kylo dove into the water after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the lullaby that Kylo sings to Poe, Sea Slumber Song...I wanted something kind of obscure or unknown, and this is a poem by Roden Noel that was put to music back in the late 1800s in Edward Elgar's Sea Pictures. For the story I changed out the word violins for winds because I just don't see a Mer knowing what a violin is and therefore wouldn't sing of it. The only recordings I could find of this song are operatic arias, and this is the best (and easiest to understand) version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74hRb-aerK8  
> I don't see Leia or Kylo singing it like a divine opera, but softer, a lullaby.
> 
> Again, I knew there was something I forgot. Kes uses Poe's full name during their phone conversation. I wanted Poe to have a name that was fitting for him, so I looked up Spanish names, and this is what I came up with: Eberardo – Courageous like a boar, and Valerio – Powerful, strong. And so we have brave, strong Poe Dameron.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo finally let Poe talk him into swimming with the argument of: What do you think will happen to me when you’re with me? He couldn’t come up with a decent argument to get the man out of the water, and there wasn’t much in the water that could overpower him before Poe could get to safety. The only thing that gave him pause was the thought of attracting his clanmates, and he hadn’t seen any of them in years. So he caved in and agreed.
> 
> He was almost surprised how far they traveled in such a short amount of time considering he was using his legs instead of his tail. But they had traveled from the pier almost all the way to the cove where he lived, and that had included stopping to splash, tease, laugh, and kiss more.
> 
> Kylo felt happy, almost deliriously so, but in the back of his mind he still worried. What would happen if they were found? What would happen if his clanmates discovered them and began to sing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So time for content warning. This is the chapter with the dub-con elements. Also there is violence and blood.
> 
> Sorry folks, this is not a happy chapter.
> 
> I did decide to add another of Peppypear's mood boards though, if it helps make up for the unhappiness.

Poe knew that if he stayed under long enough Kylo would follow him. He also knew that he was very good at holding his breath, so he just had to hold on to the pier brace and wait.

He was not disappointed to see the other man dive into the water like a torpedo, and he moved through the water like he really did spend more time in it than on dry land. Poe watched in fascination as the other man moved himself through the water in graceful perfection, and he moved at an almost breakneck speed. It was one more thing that Poe found absolutely amazing about him.

Then he surfaced again, facing away from where Poe hid, so Poe decided to surprise Kylo. He pushed himself off the brace with his legs and propelled himself towards the surface right behind him. He raised out of the water enough to wrap his arms around the other man’s neck. He started to laugh.

“Poe!?” Kylo sounded a mix of terrified and relieved. Poe wasn’t sure how the man turned around so fast in his arms in the water. “Poe, thank the Ocean, you’re alright.”

“Of course I’m alright,” he replied. “I may not be as good a swimmer as you, but I am decent.”

“I…I was just worried that you… I guess I’m relieve you’re okay.”

“Why were you worried?”

“Because the Ocean is a very dangerous place. There are creatures that could eat you in two bites, ones that would lure you out to far so you drown, ones that won’t wait for you to die before they start tearing you apart. And that’s if the rip currents don’t pull you out first.”

“Then it’s a good thing I have you here to warn me and make sure I stay safe,” Poe teased.

“I’m serious, Poe!” and he could see from the look in Kylo’s eyes that he was, then his tone changed to something soft and tender. “If something were to happen to you I don’t think I could bear it.”

This time Poe didn’t tease. He closed the distance between them and claimed Kylo’s mouth in a seawater wet kiss. And the kiss was returned enthusiastically as Kylo pulled him closer and Poe found himself slotted almost perfectly against him. An arm wrapped around his waist and the other hand was buried in the hair on the back of his head to hold him steady, and Poe melted against him.

Poe moaned a bit when Kylo licked across his lower lip in request to deepen the kiss, and he gladly parted his lips for him. He lost himself to the feeling of all of it: the water around them, their bodies pressed tightly together, the hand in his hair gently tugging and massaging, his own hands in Kylo’s amazing hair, the soft lips and tongue moving against and with his own, even the press and poke of Kylo’s nose against his nose and cheek. Poe felt breathless, yet he didn’t feel the need to breathe at all, and he paid it no mind when they started to sink beneath the surface.

He wasn’t sure how long they kissed, but eventually Kylo pulled back and kicked them back to the surface. Poe gasped quietly for the air he’d only slightly missed, but he felt like kissing him was even better than breathing.

And he honestly never felt so wonderfully safe in his life.

***

Kylo finally let Poe talk him into swimming with the argument of: _What do you think will happen to me when you’re with me?_ He couldn’t come up with a decent argument to get the man out of the water, and there wasn’t much in the water that could overpower him before Poe could get to safety. The only thing that gave him pause was the thought of attracting his clanmates, and he hadn’t seen any of them in years. So he caved in and agreed.

He was almost surprised how far they traveled in such a short amount of time considering he was using his legs instead of his tail. But they had traveled from the pier almost all the way to the cove where he lived, and that had included stopping to splash, tease, laugh, and kiss more.

Kylo felt happy, almost deliriously so, but in the back of his mind he still worried. What would happen if they were found? What would happen if his clanmates discovered them and began to sing?

***

Poe looked down to see a dark shape moving in the water below them. At first he thought it might be their own shadows mingled together until it started moving in the opposite direction they were. He reached for Kylo’s arm to point it out when he heard the start of a song in a voice that reminded him very much of his companion’s.

If there were words, they were ones from a language that he didn’t understand, and the tune of the song was very strange. Poe listened closely to it. He vaguely thought there had been something else he had been doing, but all that seemed to matter at the moment was hearing the song the shadow was singing to him. Then another voice joined in and Poe felt weightless, like he was floating through air that he couldn’t breathe instead of slowly letting himself sink to hear the voice better. He let himself sink because he knew that he would hear the voices better under the water, and he wanted to let the song consume him.

He barely felt the firm grip on his arm or the jerk upwards as he was pulled back to the surface. He couldn’t comprehend anything other than something was pulling him away from the beautiful song. He tried to throw off whatever had him and he started to struggle and fight, but whatever it was held him fast. The further away he was pulled the more he fought.

He started to hear other things, though he was still barely aware. A familiar voice was fading in and out of his existence, but he did his best to ignore it.

The words _I’m sorry_ filtered through the mess that was his mind insisting he get back under the water and find his way to whoever was singing.

Then he knew nothing but pain as the screeching noise broke through and made his head feel like it was splitting open and like his skin was being pulled off his body.

***

“Poe!” Kylo cried once he stopped his scream. He knew it was the only way to break the hold that the Mersong had on his beloved, but he also knew the reason it broke the Luring Spell of Mersong was because of the pain it caused.

Poe curled into the fetal position in an effort to protect himself from something he couldn’t fight, and Kylo held him as he continued to scream to make sure the spell would truly be broken.

“Poe, can you hear me?”

His beloved groaned in pain, but he started to uncurl his aching limbs. Kylo pressed a gentle kiss to the top of Poe’s head and tried to coax him to relax more. It was another minute before the man lifted his head from where it rested against his chest. His eyes fluttering open.

“Ky-Kylo? Wh-what happened?” Poe asked groggily.

Then they both heard the singing start again and a third voice joined them. Poe’s eyes started to glaze immediately, and Kylo knew he didn’t have time to waste.

“Poe!” he pleaded as he held Poe’s face so he had to look directly at him. “Poe, listen to me! Don’t listen to the song! Listen to only me! Concentrate on me! I need you to concentrate on me!”

“Ky,” he sounded faint and confused. “What’s going on? What is that?”

“I don’t have time to explain. I need you to concentrate on me.”

“I… I am…”

“Poe, I need you to listen closely. I need you to swim as fast and as hard as you can to shore. It’s not far, but the faster you get out of the water the better. Their song is less powerful out of the water. Think of the song I sang earlier. The lullaby you called it? Think of me singing that. Hear me singing that song. Don’t listen to them singing. Hear me singing that song. When you get to shore you need to hide. And you need to keep thinking about me singing that song. Sing it yourself if you need to, but whatever you do, don’t listen to their song. Okay?”

“Yeah… Ky, what about you?”

“I will come find you when I get rid of them.”

“If I’m in danger, then you are, too.”

“Poe, I will be alright, but you need to swim for shore now!” Poe looked terrified and like he wanted to argue about having to leave Kylo. “Please… I need to keep you safe!”

Poe nodded and kissed him quickly before he turned and swam for shore.

Kylo watched for a few seconds praying the ocean give him the speed he needed to stay safe. Then he turned and dove into the shallows to seek out those he knew were trying to take his beloved. He hadn’t realized he’d transformed back into his mer-form, but blessed the error as his tail quickly propelled him towards those who were singing the lure song.

He knew he was close when the singing stopped again; they had to sense him as much as he sensed them. And he could feel their confusion and anger, which meant they could sense that Poe was not with him, which meant they expected him to join in the singing and the hunt.

And he knew that meant it would be reported back to Pontus Snoke, Sovereign of the clan that had shunned him for saving a human before. Kylo had been with the clan for years before that first time. He knew what they were taught about the Walkers, how they were destroying their ocean, and how they wouldn’t think twice about killing any of them if they were captured. But Kylo also remembered how he was taught by his mother’s clan, about the peaceful way they could co-exist with the walkers, and how if the Mers helped them that kindness would be reciprocated.

So Kylo saved the boy though the clan wanted to take the boy for their meal.  It had been witnessed by his closest friend, Calder, but his friend rushed back to their clan and told what had happened. Kylo was forced to leave as soon as he returned to the settlement.

It was Calder who dealt the first blow as he swam up from behind. Kylo knew he should have expected it, but he was so worried about Poe getting to safety that the other Mer caught him unawares. The blow knocked the air out of his lungs and left him gasping in the water, and again blessed the fact that he accidentally transformed back to his Mer-form which meant he could breathe without needing to go back to the surface.

He quickly spun around to face Calder when he was grabbed from behind by another Mer, Zarya. Kylo had both size and strength on his side against them. He fared quite well, he even had them on the run before the trident pierced his left abdomen and oblique muscles. Calder and Zarya held him down as the third, Phorkys, made his way over.

“We thought for certain you were luring that human out for us to feast on, Kylo,” Phorkys said with a sneer. “We even marveled at how you had him under your control without even using your luring voice, but he wasn’t under your control at all, was he, human lover?”

He pushed on the trident causing it to sink further into Kylo’s flesh, and Kylo cried out in pain. The others scoffed and sneered at him. Then Zarya pulled his head back by his hair until it was unbearable, and he was forced to arch further onto the weapon.

“Sovereign Snoke had such high hopes for you,” she hissed in his ear. “You were his favorite in the whole Clan of Ren. He had chosen you to become his successor if ever the day should come that he dies. And instead of being grateful, you disobeyed his rules and saved a filthy human boy.”

“What’s even more disgusting is that he was still giving you the chance to prove yourself worthy of him, and the Clan name Ren,” Calder spat. “He was willing to let you back and be his favorite once more if you could deliver us just one human soul. But we’ve been watching you, Kylo. Think what Sovereign will say when he hears how you pulled this one from the very waters of your own clan, how you tasted his mouth like he could be your mate, how you used the Shriek to break our Luring Spell. You really are a disgusting human lover, aren’t you?”

“You’re lucky, human lover,” Phorkys continued again. “Under Sovereign’s orders we are not to harm you,” he glanced down at where the trident tines were still buried in his skin. “Oops! What a pity! Of course, you could clear the whole misunderstanding up if you brought us the Human you stole. We’ll give you three days to bring him to us, Kylo. Then we go to Sovereign Snoke, and you will be lucky if you’re still alive after his wrath. We all know the human won’t be.”

Phorkys gripped the handle of the trident and forcefully pulled it out from Kylo’s side. The three left him there to bleed and think about the ultimatum they had given him.

***

Poe sat in a small cave that formed between boulders and the sheer rock wall of the small cove. It was smaller than the suite he had up at the main house, but everything seemed smaller than that room. There was something about it that made him feel safe, almost as if Kylo were there with him, or perhaps Kylo lived there...

He rolled his eyes at such a preposterous notion. The place had to be flooded with water whenever the tide was high, plus he was certain Kylo was not homeless. He was just a bit of a recluse who lived on his own because the people he’d lived with before, his adoptive family, had disowned him.

Poe could still feel the bizarre pull the mysterious song had on him, the one that had him wanting to give in and go back to the water. He wanted to let it consume him. Poe felt a shiver of terrified desire run through him, and he swallowed and closed his eyes.

_Think of Kylo’s lullaby! Don’t think of the singing in the water, and how much it makes you want to…NO!!! DAMERON! STOP!! Think of Kylo and his song. Sing it! Sing the song!_

Poe’s head was a mess of confusion, fear, and physical desire, which made him even more confused and scared. And he went in circles in his mind about wanting to go back into the water, feeling aroused because of it, being terrified about both those things, and telling himself to heed Kylo’s insistence of thinking of the lullaby. Thinking of Kylo didn’t exactly help calm his arousal, so he put his hands behind his back and pinned them between him and the sheer rock wall. For some reason he felt certain if he gave in to _that_ he would find himself back in the water giving in to the singing as well.

And he knew Kylo had wanted him safe, so he willed his boner down, and did his best to concentrate and remember the words Kylo sang to him. He thought of the soft kiss press against his temple, and the strong arm holding him close. He thought about the tears that had been falling down his face, and how they both lost their mothers as boys. He thought about how wistful Kylo sounded as he spoke very shortly about his own mother. And he remembered the softness of the sweet low toned voice that made him feel at peace.

And he started to sing. He made it once through the song and he felt calmness wash over him in waves. A second time through the song and he could think straight and he started to worry about Kylo again. Half-way through the third time he stopped.

He could hear something approaching the cave, but whatever it was struggled with walking and he could hear loud, labored breathing and grunting. Poe could tell they were in pain, but he was reluctant to leave his hiding spot. Then he heard a groan and it made his heart stop. He moved forwards and crawled towards the mouth of the cave.

“Kylo?” he called anxiously.

He slapped his hands over his mouth as he realized he’d just given away his position, and it could just be a ploy to get him out from hiding.

“Poe…” was the labored response. “Poe, help!”

And Poe ran out of the cave without another thought. Kylo called for help, and Poe would do whatever he could to help him.

But he was not prepared to see Kylo holding himself up against the boulder looking even more ashen than normal. His legs were barely holding him, and they buckled so he fell to his knees. He grimaced in pain at the jolt, and that’s when Poe noticed the arm he held against him covering something that had a steady flow of blood coming from it.

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! PLEASE GOD NO!!

Poe wasn’t sure if he only thought the words or if they actually came out of his mouth as he rushed to Kylo’s side and caught him before he fell. He gently lowered the man so he was lying in the damp sand. Then, with one shaking hand he brushed the hair off his face, and with the other he tried to pull his arm away from the wound to see just how bad it was. But Kylo held his arm firmly against him, and started to speak.

“Poe…” he said faintly. “Poe you need to get something for me.”

But Poe had trouble concentrating on what Kylo said.

“Ky…we…we need to get you to a hospital…my phone…FUCK! It’s back at the beach! Ky…”

“Poe, listen… I need you to get me the sea tangle.”

“I-what-sea tangle? I don’t know what… Kylo, can you stand at all, we need to get back to the beach. I don’t want to leave you, but my phone. We need to get you to a hospital.”

“Sea…seaweed,” Kylo lifted his hand to point off towards a pool of sea water. “There, in the water. Bring all that you can. Hurry…please!”

Poe couldn’t think. He couldn’t comprehend much of anything at all, so he raced to the pool and gathered all the seaweed he could carry. His mind was in such a state of shock that he didn’t register the odd scent wafting off of it. All he could really think was he needed to get Kylo to a hospital and the only way he could really do that is if he went back to the beach on Hux’s property.

He hit his knees at Kylo’s side and brushed his face with slimy hands.

“Ky, I’ve got it. As much as I could carry.”

Kylo’s eyes fluttered open at Poe’s touch, and a cool hand covered his for a second.

“Cover the wounds with the seaweed.”

Wounds? Poe gulped, and stopped Kylo from pulling his hand away from his wounds.

“We need to clean them first.”

“The salt water will have purified them. I need to get the seaweed on them. Please, Poe…”

He lifted his arm and it was worse than Poe thought. There were three gaping holes over his stomach, and Poe was certain they were deep enough that they punctured organs. They were bleeding freely, and he honestly thought he’d never seen much blood in his life. It was pooling under Kylo and staining the sand beneath him.

Poe choked back a sob knowing there would be no saving Kylo. Whatever attacked him, whatever was after Poe, had done too good a job of retaliation on his… on Kylo. And he would lose someone else that he couldn’t save, someone who would die in his arms… someone he loves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Calder - Stream or Rocky Water  
> Zarya - Water Priestess and protector of the warriors in Slavic Mythology  
> Pontus and Phorkys - Greek water gods


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t fair! His whole fucking life wasn’t fair. He’d lost his mother at the age of 8 when her plane was shot down. He found that he had a passion for flying, much like his late mother, and enjoyed the military career he’d made out of that passion. Then that was taken from him as he was shot down, and he might have recovered from that and continued flying if he hadn’t been responsible for every single life on that plane dying.
> 
> And now? The only person he ever, without a doubt, fell in love with was bleeding out, and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Mer Magic for you in this chapter.

Poe pressed the seaweed against the bleeding holes in Kylo’s side trying his hardest to not to sob. He was biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. He did his best to dress the wounds and kept a few of the longer pieces to secure the rest in place, and when he finished he looked back at Kylo’s face and into his eyes.

“Th-that’s the b-best I can d-do.”

Kylo smiled weakly at him and cupped his cheek.

“It is perfect. Poe, why are you crying?”

“Because I… I c-can’t s-save you.”

“I will be alright, Poe. The seaweed was applied in time. I am certain. I promise.”

He gripped the hand cupping his face and squeezed it.

It wasn’t fair! His whole fucking life wasn’t fair. He’d lost his mother at the age of 8 when her plane was shot down. He found that he had a passion for flying, much like his late mother, and enjoyed the military career he’d made out of that passion. Then that was taken from him as he was shot down, and he might have recovered from that and continued flying if he hadn’t been responsible for every single life on that plane dying.

And now? The only person he ever, without a doubt, fell in love with was bleeding out, and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening.

He curled himself against Kylo’s uninjured side and rested his head on his unnaturally cool shoulder with tears silently streaming from his eyes.

***

He wasn’t sure how long he’d drifted, but Poe sat up with a start. He looked down at Kylo to see that he was breathing evenly, apparently asleep as he had been. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

“I love you!” he whispered against them. “I’ll be back very soon.”

Kylo didn’t stir, but he hadn’t expected him to. He wondered if Kylo would ever wake again. His heart clutched to the idea that maybe the seaweed would somehow save him, but he knew it was a fool’s hope.

Poe got to his feet and looked around the little cove. He walked over to the pool that he retrieved the seaweed for Kylo’s wounds and washed the blood from his hands. Then he looked back at Kylo one more time before he started to explore. As much as he didn’t want to leave Kylo’s side, he knew he had to find a way back to the Hux estate that didn’t involve the water. If whatever attacked Kylo was still in the water he had no chance himself.

So he explored the rocks that protected their small hiding spot, and he eventually found a path. He followed it for a short amount of time and he became certain it would lead him back towards the beach. Then he turned around and rushed back to Kylo, not wanting his love to be alone in his last moments.

When he got back to the cove Kylo was trying to sit up. He rushed to his side, once again brushing hair back from his face with one hand while trying to hold him still with the other. He was surprised that Kylo’s temperature was returning to normal.

“No, Ky, please!” he pleaded. “You need to stay still. It looks like you may have stopped bleeding, but if you move you...you’ll…please just stay still.”

“Poe!” Kylo looked very relieved, and smiled at him, and his tone sounded stronger. “You were gone. I was worried they had come back and taken you.”

He smiled back at Kylo sadly.

“What would you have done if they had taken me?”

“I would have come after you, and done everything I could to save you. I will always do everything I can to keep you safe and take care of you.”

“But Kylo…you’ve gone and killed yourself for me,” Poe couldn’t hold back the sob that time. “You’re the first person I’ve ever fallen in love with, and I’m losing you before we even get a chance…”

And he began to weep bitterly, angry at the world for being so cruel to him.

“Poe…”

Kylo sat up easily, even with Poe still trying to hold him down. It startled Poe how strong he seemed though he should be weak from the wounds and blood loss. His love wrapped one arm around him, and he placed his other hand over Poe’s on his chest. He couldn’t help but sag against Kylo as he took his hand and slowly guided it down under the seaweed to where his wounds…

Poe jerked back and looked up at Kylo’s face in utter disbelief.

Then his hands were tearing away at the seaweed, pulling from where the wounds should be… but they weren’t there. Poe stared at where the blood had dried on Kylo’s skin, where the holes that were certain to be his death should have been, and he wondered if there would be any scarring at all. He was healed.

Kylo appeared to be healed completely.

Poe’s eyes were huge and he was having issues catching his breath. He quickly backed away from Kylo, not knowing what to make of this. Surely it was impossible, and surely Poe had lost his mind.

“I don’t… how?” It was all he was able to get out.

“The seaweed. It has been cured with different plants and creatures from the ocean, and a Mer spell was cast upon it. It healed me.”

Kylo said the words as though it were the most normal thing anyone would ever say.

“Mer?”

“Yes. Unfortunately that is also what tried to take you today.”

“Mer?”

“Yes, one singing the Lure Spell song can drag a person under, but there were three.”

“WAIT! Mer? As in Mermaid?”

“Or man, but, yes.”

“And… you were able to fight them off?”

“Sadly, no. I did not fare so well against the trident one hurled at me, as you saw.”

“A… A _trident_ gave you those injuries? And we used enchanted seaweed to heal you?”

“Yes. To both questions.”

Poe sat there dumbfounded, and stared at Kylo. Maybe this was all some bizarre dream, and Poe would wake up and he’d be back at his apartment, and Finn would come home and tell him that he and Hux were off again. And that Kylo wasn’t real, he was just an apparition in a dream and Poe would be alone again.

He didn’t want that. He wanted Kylo, and he would take the crazy if Kylo came with it.

He felt the tears renew in his eyes as he rushed back to embrace him and accidentally knock him back down into the sand.

“Poe… you are crying again?”

“You’re alive!” he gasped as he pressed kisses all over Kylo’s face. “You’re alive, and you’re not going to die, and I get to keep you!”

“And that makes you sad?”

“No, Kylo,” he laughed and cried together. “No, these… these are happy tears.”          

***

Kylo walked Poe back to the beach using the path that Poe had discovered and that he had known was there all along. But it didn’t matter. He gladly let Poe cling to his hand as they walked, and gladly stopped to kiss him whenever Poe  pulled him down for one. Their normal chatter seemed subdued, but Kylo knew it was because of the highly stressful and emotionally charged day. It seemed every other time he was being stopped Poe had tears brimming in his eyes; something Kylo didn’t quite understand, but he knew it had to do with Poe’s affection for him.

And that made him smile warmly at his beloved, for Poe loved him, too, and clearly very intensely for the emotion to be pouring from him like it was. Kylo didn’t understand how human emotion worked. He felt emotions, happiness, sadness, anger, love. He felt them fiercely, but he didn’t emote as Poe did. It had been drilled into him by Sovereign Snoke to keep his emotions close and hidden. Poe made him think it wasn’t necessary.

Poe also made him think that maybe it might not be necessary to go back to his clan, that he could be happy in another life. That he and Poe could settle together somewhere on the coast as mates, or even that he could leave the water and live as a human.

He thought so deeply about those prospects, specifically the thought of taking Poe as his mate, that he barely realized they walked out onto the beach when Poe stopped him.

“I want you to meet them,” Poe insisted, pulling Kylo out of his reverie.

“What?”

“My friends, Kylo, I want you to meet them, and Pops.”

“I… I have never been asked to meet others before.”

“Not ever? Not even with friends?”

“I have lived alone for much of my adult life, Poe, cut off from everything outside this,” he motioned to the water. “And I have never fallen in love with anyone before you either. So I have been locked in my solitude.”

Poe reached up and tucked hair behind Kylo’s ear and left his hand cupping his face.

“Not anymore.”

Kylo squinted confusedly at him.

“I do not understand.”

“You’re going to come with me to the house and meet my friends. You never have to be alone again, Kylo. You’ll always have me from now on.”

Kylo smiled. He wanted that, to always be with Poe. He nearly accepted the offer without a second thought.

But then he felt Poe’s other hand make its way over his stomach to trace over where the trident wounds had been. Kylo remembered for the healing spell to fully work he would need to return to his Mer form, and he knew he was running short on time to get back to the water.

“I have to go back, Poe. It is already getting late.”

“You could stay with me.”

“Tonight I need to go back to my home.”

Kylo hated how sad his refusal made Poe look, but he didn’t stay down for long.

“You need to be home tonight? Then what about tomorrow? Come to the house tomorrow to meet them!”

“Alright,” Kylo didn’t hesitate to answer, and was rewarded with Poe jumping into his arms and kissing him.

“I’ll meet you where the garden path opens to the beach at noon. Maybe we can swim for a bit, then-“

“NO!  Poe, you can’t. Those Mers, they won’t give up that easily. You can’t come back down to the water.”

“But how will we see each other?”

“I will come to you. I will meet you on the path to the gardens every day. I promise.”

Kylo grinned as Poe tightened his arms and moved impossibly closer, and he tightened his arms in return. He nudged Poe’s face with his nose, nuzzling a bit, asking for a kiss without using the words.

“Hey, Ky.”

“Hey, Poe.”

“I love you!”

“I know!” He moved in so his lips brushed Poe’s. “I love you, too.”

***

Poe was somehow able to pull himself away from Kylo as the sun was setting, and Kylo’s hair started to show its amazing undertones again. Poe could have stayed there for hours with his hands in his hair watching the colors glow and change. He was half tempted to just stay with Kylo for the night, but he knew how worried his friends would be.

So he finally kissed his love goodbye and started the slow trudge back to the pier to get his towel, phone, hoodie, and tank top.

“POE!”

He heard the yell before he saw them running towards him. Finn and Rey were rushing across the beach as fast as their feet would carry them through the sand. While he was with Kylo, he hadn’t thought of his friends returning from the helicopter ride and finding him gone. He bit his lip and made his way towards them as quickly as he could.

“Hey, guys!”

“Don’t you ‘Hey, guys’ us Poe Dameron!” Rey bellowed as she got to him. “We get back and you’re not in the house, so we come down here and find your towel and hoodie and phone on the beach, and your tank top on the pier. And you are nowhere! We thought you drown! Where the hell were you?”

“I was-“

“Where the hell was he?” Finn yelled as he caught up.

“I have no idea! He didn’t answer!”

“I tried to, you interrupted me.”

SMACK!! Rey slapped him hard enough that Poe saw stars for a second.

“Don’t you dare try to turn this on me! Now where the hell were you?”

Poe though momentarily about what had happened to him that afternoon. He definitely couldn’t tell Rey or Finn that story without major back up on Kylo’s part, and since his friends didn’t even know he existed, let alone had fallen in love with him.

He still decided to go with at least partial truth.

“I went swimming.”

“You. Went. Swimming?” Finn repeated slowly, questioning.

“Yeah, I went swimming. You know I know how to swim.”

“But, Poe, it’s dangerous to swim in the ocean by yourself!” Rey picked up. “You could have died so easily! Don’t you know how dangerous rip tides are?”

“Of course I know how dangerous it is to swim in the ocean, Rey. I was a pilot in the Navy.”

“Then what the hell were you thinking going out there on your own?” Finn picked up.

“I wasn’t on my own,” he defended.

That visibly shocked both Poe’s companions, and Poe grimaced in regret. He hadn’t meant to tell them he had a boyfriend like that. He had meant to do it in a gentler manner, but having both of them spitting mad him had resulted in him letting it slip a bit more harshly.

“What do you mean you weren’t on your own?” Finn asked suspiciously.

“I… I was with somebody. Swimming…”

“Poe…” Finn’s angry demeanor changed almost instantly to one of pity. Poe didn’t like it. “There’s nobody else here except the staff, and I’m sure they’re all too afraid of Brendol Hux to ever do anything with their guests.”

“He’s a neighbor, Finn. I met him they day you got engaged.”

“He was at the party?” Rey asked.

“No, he was just swimming by. I… I ran down to the pier when I panicked, so I could be alone and calm myself, remind myself I’m safe… and sing. My singing caught his attention. I’ve been sneaking off to see him since.”

“You’ve been ditching us to see some guy? Some random neighbor of Hux’s? He must be a decent catch if he’s a neighbor of Hux’s.”

“Hold up!” While Rey had given Poe the benefit of the doubt on the matter, it was quite clear that Finn did not. “Just where is he living?”

“Somewhere around that outcropping of rock down the coast,” Poe explained, pointing to the place he was talking about.

“He can’t, Poe,” Finn answered shortly.

“He does.”

“Poe, that’s Hux property.”

“But that’s where he said he lived.”

“If he is living there, he’s trespassing on private property. But, Poe, if somebody were living there the Huxs would know about it, and they would have the person removed. So either this person, whoever he is, lied to you, or…”

“Or what, Finn?”

“Look, Poe, you’ve been under a lot of stress, and your PTSD and Depression has presented in some strange ways over the last few months.”

“OR WHAT, FINN?”

“Or he’s not real.”

“FUCK! YOU!”

Poe stalked angrily past them towards where he’d left his things on the beach, but they’d been moved. He looked out onto the pier and his tank top had been taken as well.

“Where’s my stuff?”

“Back at the house,” Rey answered. “We’ve all been looking for you, Poe. Phas and Doph had to head back home to work for a few days, so Hux walked them back, and he brought your things with him.”

“Okay, fine. Look, Rey, I’m sorry I scared you all, but Kylo, that’s his name, he’s been really, really great, and he’s been taking very good care of me. He’s coming up to meet you all tomorrow.”

He pointedly didn’t look at Finn when he talked.

“Look, Poe, I didn’t mean to upset you, but-“

“Finn, I have never once hallucinated beyond having a flash back. I don’t just make up people.”

“I just think it might not be a bad idea to all Doctor Kalonia about this.”

“I already talked to Doc about him, Finn. And if you’re still so convinced that I’m hallucinating some guy, you better call Pops and tell him he’s hallucinating, too.”

“Why would I need to do that?” Finn asked looking a bit guilty.

“Because you’ve been talking to him all week, Finn, he told me so when I talked to him today. Also, because he talked to Kylo himself, so if I’m hallucinating, so is my dad. I’ll see you back at the house.”

And Poe stormed back up to the main house.

***

He hadn’t expected to sleep as well as he did that night, but Poe had Kylo to thank for it. He dreamed of them swimming together for most of the night. Mostly it was dreams of how they swam together that day, but every once in a while they were deeper under the water and Kylo had a sleek black Mertail with patterns of gleaming gold and red like his hair had during the sunset. Poe knew he was never in danger of drowning because Kylo was there to keep him safe.

He woke up feeling well rested and in a much better mood than the night before. He had returned to the house, grumbled out an apology to Hux while he grabbed his belongings, and he locked himself in his room for the night. He felt ready to face their anger or whatever they might have planned for him. He could face anything because he knew Kylo was still alive when he should have died and that they loved each other.

So he got dressed, having showered the night before, and did his best to tame his wildly tousled hair into some semblance of order. Then he rushed down to the dining room for breakfast and to hopefully explain things about the day before much better than he had.

But when he walked in, the only person waiting for him was Hux. He shrugged and was about to help himself to a plate of food from the buffet when he was stopped by his host.

“Poe, please take a seat,” Hux insisted. “I have a plate prepared for you, as well as coffee, juice, and milk. I am afraid we have a few things that are very important for us to discuss. We will not be disturbed.”

He had the sudden urge to bolt from the room, but he also knew Hux deserved an explanation about the day before. So Poe walked over to the offered seat and took it looking over the generous plate of food, and after the lack of food from the day before he gladly started eating.

Poe had taken exactly three mouthfuls of food before Hux proceeded with their discussion.

“I know yesterday was a trying day for all of us. You must understand how the five of us felt, having returned from our excursion to have you missing. And when we tracked your belongings to the beach but you were nowhere to be seen…”

“Look, Hux, I’m sorry, but-“ Hux held up his hand to silence him.

“I was also made aware by Finn that you are claiming to have met a man who lives down the coast, but still apparently on this property.” Poe tried to explain again, but Hux repeated the action of holding his hand up to silence him. “While my fiancé may not believe you, I would like you to know that I do believe you met Kylo. It would explain why you’ve kept disappearing this past week, and, yes, Poe, I know for a fact that he does exist. Finn also mentioned you went swimming with Kylo yesterday. I would now like you to explain to me everything that happened.”

Hux fell silent and looked at Poe expectantly. Poe sat there in dumbfounded shock for a few minutes before he even considered answering Hux. Again, Poe wasn’t sure just what he should say without Kylo there to back him up, but he did his best to explain everything deciding to leave out the part when Kylo was nearly killed by the trident and healing him with the enchanted seaweed.

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you? Telling you I was entranced by mermaids trying to drag me into the ocean with the intention of killing and eating me.”

“On the contrary, Poe, I believe every word you just told me.”

“But why do you believe me, when Finn is so certain that I’m having a psychotic episode?”

“Because I was lured to the water when I was nineteen, but at the last moment the Mer who abducted me either lost his nerve to kill another living being or he was only ever looking for a friend while his clan were horrible to him. Not that I would have been much better back then, but that isn’t what is important. What is of importance is the same thing happened to me.”

Poe felt a rush of relief, Hux believed him, without questions or proof, because they weren’t needed. Hux had been through the same thing he had. He nearly grinned as he shoveled in a few more mouthfuls of food.

“And you believe that Kylo lives down the shore near the rocks.”

“I know for a fact that he does… just not on land.”

Poe just blinked at him.

“Where else would he live?”

“In the water, Poe, like the rest of his kind,” Hux said softly, almost as if he were trying to soothe a hurtful blow.

Poe just looked at him confused.

“You don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

“That Kylo is one, too. He’s Mer like the ones he saved you from yesterday.”

And Poe felt his stomach drop.

***

Another afternoon of waiting passed for Kylo, to the point where the sun was dipping low in the sky and his hair would start glowing in the colors that matched his tail. He waited and waited for his beloved, but Poe never came for him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And he knew without a doubt he could never go back to Clan Ren, and Sovereign Snoke’s skewed view on humans. They weren’t the heartless killers that he had made them out to be, and they didn’t deserve to die for crimes they didn’t commit. 
> 
> Making that decision didn’t make up for not seeing Poe during the last three days. It didn’t help soothe the aching in his chest that resulted from Poe’s absence. It amazed Kylo just how deeply he felt the pain of loss when he barely had the thing to begin with. He wondered if the pain and sadness that caused Poe to cry felt anything like this. He wouldn’t know; Mers never cried.
> 
>  
> 
> Poe and Kylo are miserable without each other. Then Finn tells Poe they're all going sailing the next day. Poe is both hopeful of seeing Kylo and fearful for the groups safety.

Hux had taken time to explain what had happened to him when he was nineteen, what he had learned by doing research, and what he had learned from Kylo himself. Poe had tried to listen, but he was still reeling at that point. He remembered some things, like just what would have happened to him if the Mers had succeeded, if Kylo had decided to help them. He couldn’t remember if Hux told him how long Kylo worked on befriending him before making the move to take him.

Poe still felt numb.

It didn’t seem possible that Kylo could have lied to him to such a terrible extent. It just didn’t make sense to him, but he also knew that Armitage Hux was not somebody who would ever lie to anybody. So either Poe had completely lost his mind, or Hux was telling the truth and Kylo lied about being Mer.

Well, no, he supposed Kylo didn’t exactly lie to him, but it was one hell of a truth to just casually leave out of conversation when you were falling in love with somebody. If _that_ was even the truth. Then Poe thought it must be the truth, because he talked to Pops and Pops ended up giving them his blessing, and that was a rare thing to happen. Kes Dameron usually had to meet and scrutinize somebody before approving them to even be friends with his boy, and nobody could fake it past Pops.

He wondered if he should call Pops and tell him what happened, well, not what happened, but that Kylo had left a very important piece of information out while they were spending time together…

But how on earth did he miss it?

Kylo never had the tail in Poe’s presence, or at least what he could remember of it. When he was being lured by the other Mers his mind went blank and everything between then and when Kylo showed up on shore with the trident injury were fuzzy recollections at best. Who’s to say that Kylo hadn’t been singing to him the whole time without him knowing about it? He mostly ignored the fact that the rest of his memories involving Kylo were sharp and unmistakable.

His being Mer explained why he wasn’t affected by the Lure song. Why they attacked him with a trident instead of drawing him to the bottom of the ocean and devouring him as they had planned to do to Poe.

Poe wondered if it had been Kylo’s intentions all along to simply keep him for himself, draw him far enough away from the Hux estate, and kill him for his own pleasure.

But Poe’s heart burst into his thoughts whenever that idea reared its head. Kylo loved him, his heart was certain on that. Kylo had been alone for so long, if this was the one thing that could reunite him with his clan, why hadn’t he taken his chance? Why did he save Poe from his clanmates? Why did he make Poe believe he was in love with him?

Why did Poe have to fight himself to keep from running down to the end of the garden path?

Why did he hope Kylo was still waiting for him even though two days had passed?

There was a knock on his suite door. He looked out the window down to the beach and sighed; it was almost insane how much he missed Kylo when they’d only known each other for a week and a half. Then he turned away and walked to the door thinking he’d spent enough time alone, even though he felt he would prefer being alone feeling as miserable as he did.

He opened the door to see Finn waiting there. Poe felt his face fall into a scowl, but as much as he wanted to slam it in Finn’s face, he left the door open as he turned back into his suite. His roommate followed him to the small sitting area and had sense enough to sit on the chair instead of on the other end of the couch.

Then they sat in silence for a long time. Poe knew that eventually they would need to work something out if they were expected to go back to their shared apartment before Finn officially moved in with Hux… and Poe found a small, solitary place on the coast.

“Poe?” Finn started tentatively when the silence got to be too much for him. “Hux told me that you weren’t… that Kylo is… real.”

“I’m glad he set you straight,” Poe grumbled back at him, his voice rough from not using it in a couple days. “I just wish you would have believed me instead of thinking I basically lost my mind.”

“I’m sorry, but you haven’t been acting like yourself lately.”

“Finn, I may never be my old self again, you damn well know that. That doesn’t mean I am going to start hallucinating people when my best friend gets engaged.”

“Poe, I didn’t mean to…”

“But that wasn’t the only time. You didn’t believe me about that first night either.”

“Poe, you hit your head. You said so yourself.”

“After I was helped out of the water by something. It disappeared after I hit my head, but it was there before.”

“Alright, Poe, I’m sorry. I should have believed you. But I am worried about you, and things have been more off than they were before we came here. You had a panic attack and a flash back. Then you started sneaking off, and you stopped calling Kes. Something wasn’t right.”

“I…I was just falling for somebody Finn. Really falling for someone, to the point where I found out he sort of lied about something, and haven’t left my room for two days. So, I’m sorry I haven’t been myself, and I’m sorry I worried you. I just… he’s all I can think about.”

“Okay, so if he lied to you, why don’t you talk to him about it? Hux and I figured out the needing to communicate better thing kind of recently and everything is working out so well now that I agreed to marry him. If you’re that into this guy then give him a chance to explain himself.”

“If he even comes back around… I blew him off when he was supposed to come up here and meet you guys.”

“Well, maybe you’ll see him when we go out sailing tomorrow afternoon.”

Poe’s eyes widened. He looked at the window, though he couldn’t see the water through it from where he sat. They were going out on the water where it was not safe at all, especially with three Mers hunting him. And if they hunted him, they’d most likely go after the others as well.

“I don’t know that it’s a good idea.”

“Poe, you don’t have to sneak around anymore, and you aren’t getting left behind this time. It will be fun going out on Hux’s sailboat, and I know he wants to do a couple of timed runs. Even with Phasma and Doph coming back we’ll need your help.”

Poe closed his eyes and nodded. He hoped against hope that his love would still be willing to protect him.

***

Kylo hadn’t felt loneliness like this before. Like all the breathable oxygen had been forced out of his lungs, and there was no way for him to breathe again. But he lived on even though he had lost his ability to breathe, and nothing could ever put him out of his misery.

Poe hadn’t come for him, so he could meet the friends who were staying at the house. He wondered if Poe was only fooling him so he would save him. He wondered if he’d been a fool for falling in love with a human and believing he loved him back. He wondered if he was meant to be alone forever.

He wondered for a moment if he should start singing, to draw Poe back to him.

But almost immediately the thought made him sick to his stomach. He couldn’t do that to his beloved, he couldn’t just take away his choice or his senses. He knew those actions were wrong.

And he knew without a doubt he could never go back to Clan Ren, and Sovereign Snoke’s skewed view on humans. They weren’t the heartless killers that he had made them out to be, and they didn’t deserve to die for crimes they didn’t commit. Maybe he could try to talk some reason into Calder and Zarya; he knew there was no hope for Phorkys, but he thought he could talk some sense to the others, maybe. Sense they could bring back to the clan, and break the terrible cycle that Sovereign forced on them.

Making that decision didn’t make up for not seeing Poe during the last three days. It didn’t help soothe the aching in his chest that resulted from Poe’s absence. It amazed Kylo just how deeply he felt the pain of loss when he barely had the thing to begin with. He wondered if the pain and sadness that caused Poe to cry felt anything like this. He wouldn’t know; Mers never cried.

Then Kylo wondered if that might be different out of the water.

He sighed heavily.

He hadn’t surfaced in close to a day, but he just couldn’t bring himself to feel the sun’s warmth because it would remind him of Poe and his sun-kissed skin. He didn’t feel right without the sun warming him during daylight, but to surface without Poe being there to greet him? Kylo couldn’t face it. Yet he found himself haunting the shores of the Hux estate with the fool’s hope that Poe would come, never breaking the surface.

He wondered momentarily about Hux, the boy he befriended and rescued all those years ago. The one he’d been banished for. And it dawned on Kylo that he undoubtedly was one of Poe’s friends; and if Poe told Hux about him, he would be able to tell Poe that he wasn’t quite human.

What if he already had?

It would definitely explain Poe’s sudden absence after falling in love so hard and so fast. Kylo didn’t doubt Poe’s feelings for him, so there had to be some reason Poe was avoiding him. His being Mer had to be the reason why he stopped coming.

Kylo nearly bounded out of the water, he had to explain to Poe why he’d kept his tail secret. He had to explain how the last time he revealed what he was to a human his clanmates had come to take the human boy he called his friend, how they nearly succeeded in killing him, and how his supposed best friend made sure he would never be welcome back to the clan. He would also have to explain how he’d been given a chance to go back that he now decided he would never take.

He just hoped it would be enough to make it up to Poe.

He was about to surface when he noticed the commotion coming from the landing by the boathouse. There was a group of people bringing a sailboat out, and his breath caught when he saw Poe step out from behind the group. He rose above the surface far enough that he could see him clearly and Kylo felt the pull to go to his beloved.

Again he nearly bounded out of the water, but this time he stopped himself short when he realized that they were preparing to take the sailboat out into the open water. Out where Poe was certain to be hunted.

“No…” he breathed into the water.

He turned and dove to speed off towards the settlement he once called home. He wasn’t sure exactly what he would do to cause distraction for while the boat sailed over them, but he knew he had to do something or the entire group may be taken.

“Stay safe, my love,” he wished to Poe. “Ocean, please let me stop them. Please let me get there in time.”

***

Poe turned towards the ocean when he heard the splash and he wondered if Kylo had been there watching them moments before. Just the thought of him being somewhere near made Poe feel safer, and he marveled at how Kylo always made him feel safe. Even when Poe thought he was dying, he felt Kylo was protecting him.

He turned back to the others, and he jumped onto the boat to help prepare it for an afternoon on the ocean.

He smiled as Hux barked orders at all of them, clearly in his element, as he had them hoisting the sails, securing the riggings, checking the rudder action, making sure there were life jackets and flotation devices for everyone and that the first aid kit was well stocked, that the anchor chains were secure, and that everyone knew the itinerary for their voyage that day. Everyone had a task or five, and everyone did their tasks promptly and reported back to Hux.

When the boat was deemed ready, Hux ordered them back ashore while took ten minutes to inspect every inch to make certain it was up to his own standards. He adjusted a few of the knots and the tensions on the boom and mast, and then nodded.

“The Fair Rains of Arkanis is ready for her voyage!” he stated grandly to them as he stepped aside to let Poe and the others board. But Poe was stopped short as Hux grabbed his arm. “Poe, why are you barefoot? You know that you would have better traction on the boat if you had anything on your feet.”

“I know, Hux, but I lost my sandals the first night here.”

“When you fell off the pier?”

Poe glanced over at Finn and Rey who were getting settled onto seats with Doph and Phasma, and he wondered if everyone knew about his nighttime swim.

“Mr. Lars explained a certain wet spot on the carpet near my office the next morning,” Hux explained as if he knew what Poe was thinking at the moment.

“Oh. Yeah. I didn’t notice they were gone until I was on my way back up to the house.”

“Well, as much as I would prefer you have something on your feet, you will in fact be fine without. I know many sailors who find it easier in their bare feet if the cabin roof becomes wet at all and we need to adjust the lines. They grip the textured surface better than most footwear does.”

“I’ll be fine, Hux. Now get out of my way so we can go sailing.”

“I’ll be the one to give orders on my boat, Commander.”

“Whatever you say, General.”

Both comments were said in snark, not bitterness. It was the first time Poe had been referred to by his former rank that he didn’t want to punch somebody, that he didn’t want to scream at them that it wasn’t who he was anymore. He smiled at Hux, and his friend allowed him to pass.

Maybe things were going to be alright after all.

He just wondered what was going on with Kylo, if he was back with his clan in an effort to misdirect them, or if he was under the boat as it moved out from the pier into the open water. Poe just hoped he would be able to talk to him again. He wanted to hear what had happened with Hux when they were young. He wanted to know why Kylo had kept his tail a secret.

He wanted to know if Kylo would ever forgive him for not showing up, and being apart from him for close to 3 whole days.

***

They had been out for a few hours when they set a calm course so they could drop anchor and eat the meal they’d brought with them. Poe settled himself on the roof of the cabin looking down at the benches; one side had Rey huddled between Phasma and Doph to keep warm and on the other Hux and Finn were getting cozy. Poe was happy to be sitting on the roof where the sun was beating down on him, but it would have been nice to have Kylo sitting beside him, enjoying the day and getting to know his friends.

For the hundredth time that day he wondered where Kylo was at the moment, and he nearly crawled over to the edge to see if he was swimming somewhere close enough to see. He wanted to see his love again badly, but he knew Hux was the only one who actually knew what Kylo was. To actually go looking over the side and tell his friends just who he hoped to see wasn’t the best idea. So he sat there while he ate his sandwich, and watched his friends.

Five minutes later, it was almost as if Hux knew what Poe was aching to do because he spoke up as soon as he saw him finish his sandwich.

“Poe, if you’re done eating would you mind checking the Jib sail near the pulpit?” Hux asked casually, but Poe thought he caught a significant look. “Something felt a bit off when we were heeling through the last jibe. Make sure the lines are tight and the luff is even, will you?”

“Sure, Hux,” he answered as he pulled his feet up.

There were wet spots on the top of the cabin, but, as Hux said, Poe’s feet gripped the surface reasonably well as he made his way towards the bow of the boat. As he suspected everything was precisely in working order, more than perfect really. But Poe played it so nobody knew he was really checking the water. It looked like he was adjusting the knots in the lines, but he was really watching the water for shadows or masses that could be his Kylo.

He had almost finished when he did see a shadow, moving quickly, far enough under the surface that Poe couldn’t make out if it was Kylo or not. But it stirred up a memory of another shadow. Specifically, it stirred up the memory of the shadow of whatever was on the end of the pier that first night, whatever had grabbed him from behind and pulled him out of the water. Or whoever had done it.

Because suddenly Poe knew without a doubt, Kylo had every chance to drag him to the watery depths and deliver him to his clan before they had even met. But he didn’t take that chance; he rescued Poe instead.

From there everything seemed to fall in place. Maybe Kylo had been looking for the acceptance of his clan, maybe he’d been hoping to be welcomed back so he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore, but he found something much better.

He’d found love. He found somebody who was willing to be his family without having to sacrifice anyone to have it. He found Poe.

Then Poe thought of Kylo singing. Hux had told him how Kylo was doing it to lure him into the water, and how the same thing had happened to him. But Poe had felt the draw of a luring song first hand, and knew he could barely remember anything that had happened until Kylo showed up, bleeding. It was nothing like when Kylo sang to him, and if Hux could remember Kylo singing to him as well…

He rushed back towards the stern where everyone was sitting and enjoying the quiet before they would pull up the anchor. Poe found he didn’t care that nobody knew, he needed to get to the bottom of Hux’s memories of Kylo.

“Hux, when Kylo sang to you… are you actually able to remember everything about it?” he asked insistently.

Hux looked shocked that Poe would bring it up in front of the others, but Poe couldn’t be bothered by their confused stares or Hux’s outrage.

“Poe, I thought we agreed-“

But Poe interrupted him.

“I don’t have time for that right now. Do you have any times where you can’t properly remember things directly related to him?”

“OF COURSE I DON’T, BUT THAT IS NOT THE POINT!”

“It is, though, Hux, because he wasn’t trying to lure you to the water.”

Everyone stared at him, clearly flabbergasted, except Hux who got to his feet. His cheeks were colored from anger, and he squinted at Poe suspiciously.

“How can you know that?”

“Because I remember everything when Kylo sang to me, but I can barely remember anything when the others did.”

“…you think Kylo wasn’t trying to lure us into the water?”

“He had every chance to do it. He’s what saved me that first night, if he was going to kill me why didn’t he do it then? You said he got to know you over weeks before the others showed up as back-up? Why didn’t he just take you right away?”

“Because he was lonely… because he was curious and lonely and only wanted a friend…” Hux answered as if it was just dawning on him.

“Exactly, neither of us were ever in danger from him.”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Finn yelled from behind Hux. “THE GUY POE IS SEEING KNOWS PEOPLE WHO WANT TO KILL YOU BOTH?”

Hux turned back to Finn, “Darling, I know it sounds bad, but there’s something you don’t know.”

“Well, you better hurry and explain,” Rey said in a dangerous tone. “Before we go back and call Doctor Kalonia about both of you.”

Before either Poe or Hux could respond a wind shear hit. The force of it caused the main sheet line to snap and the main sail to swing wildly. While Hux was able to duck and miss the oncoming boom at the base of the main sail, Poe was perched on top the cabin and had nowhere to go. Somebody screamed for him to look out and he turned just in time for the boom to collide with his head and send him toppling into the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm aware that what the Mers do to humans is a bit disturbing, but I'm not 100% sure how to tag it. The extremely disturbing parts are never explained on screen so I'm not tagging it, but if it bothers any of you, I'm sorry!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then he saw something coming towards him in the distance. It was both light and dark and even from that distance, Poe could tell it was breathtakingly beautiful. For a moment he wondered if he should be frightened, but he there was nothing he could do to get away or hide. Then it was close enough to see, and if Poe had been able to gasp without inhaling water he would have.
> 
> Kylo was approaching him as quickly as his tail could move him, and Poe was in awe of the sight. Especially when he came to a stop mere feet away from him, even with the horrified look on his face. His hair fanned around his head, the streaks of red and gold visible in the water, but that wasn’t what drew Poe’s eyes. It was the tail, sleek and black like his hair, but with patterns of the red and gold shining in the black. It was large, strong, and powerful like the rest of him, and the fins were ornate, glorious and perfect like his hair. Kylo, the Mer, was everything that Poe had dreamed he would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for major injury, and a very sad and disturbing scene.
> 
> Also I want to sing praises to my friend Gaylo-ben who made a fantastic piece of art inspired by this fic. Go check out his Tumblr where he features all kinds of amazing Star Wars artwork: https://gaylo-ben.tumblr.com/

Poe wasn’t sure how long he’d been unconscious when he opened his eyes again, but he could definitely tell there were many things wrong. First, nothing hurt, he knew everything should but nothing did. Second, he couldn’t move his arms or legs at all. Third, he was getting to the point where he desperately needed to breathe, but to do that he needed to get above water. Last, though he needed to get to the surface, he seemed to do nothing but drift and sink.

The light of the sun above him was muted and disjointed thanks to the water it filtered through, and there was something darker and tinged red in the water near him which told him he must be bleeding from somewhere. But he couldn’t move his arms to try and check where the injury could possibly be. All he could do was drift and sink and hope his friends would find him quickly and save him.

Then he saw something coming towards him in the distance. It was both light and dark and even from that distance, Poe could tell it was breathtakingly beautiful. For a moment he wondered if he should be frightened, but he there was nothing he could do to get away or hide. Then it was close enough to see, and if Poe had been able to gasp without inhaling water he would have.

Kylo was approaching him as quickly as his tail could move him, and Poe was in awe of the sight. Especially when he came to a stop mere feet away from him, even with the horrified look on his face. His hair fanned around his head, the streaks of red and gold visible in the water, but that wasn’t what drew Poe’s eyes. It was the tail, sleek and black like his hair, but with patterns of the red and gold shining in the black. It was large, strong, and powerful like the rest of him, and the fins were ornate, glorious and perfect like his hair. Kylo, the Mer, was everything that Poe had dreamed he would be.

“It is alright, Poe,” Kylo said to him, his voice odd and echoy, partially because of the water and partially because of what the lack of air was starting to do to his head. “I am going to save you.” He moved closer, his hands gently touching his head, and finally Poe felt a twinge of pain. Kylo caught the flinch and his worried expression deepened. “I am going to breath for you. I cannot bring you to the surface right now; the others know the boat is there. When I breathe out I need you to breathe in through your mouth. Then breathe out through your nose. When you have caught your breath I will take a few moments to check your injuries before I start to move you back towards the cove. I will bring you to the surface as soon as I am able to, but until then I will have to breathe for you. Do you understand?”

Poe was relieved to find he could move his head and neck so he blinked and nodded.

Kylo moved a hand down to wrap his arm securely around Poe’s waist, and he cradled his head with his other hand. Then Poe felt Kylo’s nose brush against his cheek as he seal his lips over his own. It took a few awkward breaths to get a rhythm going, and he had to try hard to not just gulp the air he suddenly had access to. But once they worked it out he felt his head start to clear.

That’s when fear started to take over. He couldn’t move and he couldn’t feel anything properly. He knew he should be able to feel his legs brushing against Kylo’s tail and feel the sleekness or the scratch of the scales against his skin. He could feel a sort of pressure against his chest and around his waist that reassured him that Kylo was holding him securely against him, but he couldn’t move his arms to wrap around his love.

Then Kylo was pulling away and Poe pressed his lips forward to chase his retreat, but Kylo held him back. Poe knew that the look he gave him was a mix of terrified and pleading. _Please, don’t let me go! Please, help me!_ He wanted to cling to Kylo and hold on tight until whatever was happening passed, but he couldn’t.

“It’s alright,” his love told him softly. “I’m right here. I won’t leave you. I am only checking your injuries, I promise.”

He blinked in response, and swallowed thickly before nodding again.

He tried to calm himself as Kylo moved around him. He could feel an occasional pressure here and there as he was examined by the man with a long black fish tail. He could also hear Kylo whispering and murmuring as he went along, and he wondered if Kylo was trying to heal him with Mer magic. As bizarre as the idea may have been mere days ago, it gave him hope to think whatever injuries he may have sustained could be fixed just as easily as Kylo’s trident wounds.

He could feel his hands move up between his shoulder blades and then he felt a hard pressure close to the base of his neck. Something moved into place with a crack, and Poe nearly lost the breath he’d been holding in.

Then Kylo was in front of him again.

“I will breathe for you again, but we need to get you to shore.”

And as Kylo breathed into his mouth again, Poe felt calm because he knew suddenly and surely that he was safe.

***

When they surfaced Kylo held Poe protectively with his back against his chest as his beloved took gasping breaths of the air he’d been missing. He moved them along as quickly as he dared using his tail to push them towards the cove. Poe’s head rested against his shoulder and his arms were propped on his own. Kylo was relieved to see that his fingers had started to move again.

“Ky… what did you do to my back?” Poe asked when he’d regained his breath properly.

“What I could to mend it with just a healing song. I don’t know how well it will work without an elixir to help, and your head wound needs to be tended. The seawater will only do so much in purifying it, but it needs to be healed with the seaweed.’’ Poe nodded and relaxed against him as much as he could, and Kylo held him tighter. “I promise, Poe, I will take care of you.”

“I know you will.”

Kylo turned his head slightly and kissed Poe’s forehead.

***

By the time they made it to shore Poe’s arm and legs were tingling almost painfully, but he supposed that meant whatever happened to his spine was healing. Before he realized what was happening, though, Kylo was adjusting how he was holding Poe so he could carry him up towards the small pool that held the healing seaweed.

“How are your arms and legs?” Kylo asked urgently.

“They’re tingling, but that means I can feel them more than when I first woke up under the water… Ky, if you hadn’t showed up…”

“I know. The Ocean gave me the good fortune of finding you out there, but you are still gravely injured. And your friends, they will be wondering about what happened to you.”

“Yeah. Kylo? Thank you!”

“Poe, I will always take care of you and do everything I can to keep you safe. I promised your father I would.”

“You, did?”

“Of course.”

Kylo knelt down on the sand and settled Poe in a seated position against a boulder. He slowly unzipped his hoodie and Poe awkwardly moved his arms as much as he could to help him remove it. Then Poe shivered a bit as Kylo ran his fingers along his back. He knew he was feeling the bones in his spinal column. He watched his face closely and smiled when his love’s relief was quite evident.

“Your back seems to be healing well. I will still have you drink an elixir just to be certain.”

And Poe couldn’t help watching him as he rushed around, gathering this thing and that from all around the cove. He finished at the pool where Poe had found the healing seaweed before. Then he rushed back and was kneeling next to him again with a shell in one hand and a small pile of seaweed in the other.

“Here,” he said handing over the shell. “Drink this. I never restocked the seaweed, so I do not have enough to properly heal your head wound; I will treat it with this, but I need to go out and gather more. I think you will be safe on your own.”

“Alright,” Poe agreed before looking down at the shell to see the concoction he was meant to drink.

Poe shuddered, not from Kylo’s fingers probing and gently wrapping his head. The elixir was an ominous thick green goop that he knew wouldn’t go down easily, but he trusted that his love knew what he was doing. He had somehow miraculously healed his back after all. So he plugged his nose and swallowed as quickly as possible.

He still nearly threw it all back up.

Kylo smiled down at him as he finished with the seaweed.

“That is the best I can do for now. I promise, Poe, I will only be gone for a few minutes. I just need you to stay awake until I get back. It…it will not work properly if you are not awake.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Poe smiled at his savior, but then his smile faded. “Kylo, I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for, my love?”

“Hux... told me that you are Mer. And when I should have come to you and let you explain, I stayed away, allowed myself to feel hurt because you didn’t tell me everything about you right away. I don’t even know how I would have reacted if you had told me. I probably would have thought I was losing my mind. I should have trusted you because you have done nothing except be wonderful to me. I don’t deserve this at all.”

“But you do, Poe, because I love you, and because you showed me that I did not need my old clan to be happy. You showed me that I could be happy because I just needed to find you.”

And Kylo leaned in and kissed him, and Poe tried to wrap his arms around him in return, but settled for gripping his forearms. He would regain the ability to fully move his arms and legs eventually.

“Hurry back.”

Kylo was off like a shot, running towards the water, and that was when Poe realized his Merman was naked. He had been the whole time, but Poe hadn’t noticed because of everything else that was going on. Poe blushed.

He sat there waiting for Kylo to return, wondering if he would remember to pull on his shorts when he came back. As he pondered, Poe did hear someone approaching. But he knew from the sound of the breathing and the rhythm of his walk that it was not Kylo.

“So this is the human who has captured Kylo of Clan Ren’s heart,” said the Mer with a harsh sneer.

Poe looked up to see the man slowly striding towards him, his gait awkward like Kylo’s was when he first was out of the water. There was something unusual about his skin; it was pale like Kylo’s but patchy, as if he could blend in to the rock behind him if it were the right color. Poe refused to look and see if he, too, was naked.

“Who are you?” Poe asked as he glanced past the Mer who was advancing on him towards the water.

Poe might not have been worried normally, he didn’t seem to be much bigger in size than Poe himself, but since he could barely move he knew he was in danger.

“I am Calder. Your traitor used to be my greatest friend.”

“If he was your greatest friend why were you the one to get him kicked out of the clan?”

Calder’s expression soured to Poe’s utter astonishment. He honestly didn’t think it could get any worse, but it did.

“What would you know of it, human?” he spat.

“Well, Kylo told me some, but the rest I learned from the other human he saved. The boy.”

“Well that is fortunate for you.”

“You know, it’s despicable what you do. Killing humans for sport, especially the one your greatest friend manages to befriend.”

“Young Hux was not just some game sport, human. He was hunted for a reason.”

“Because of Kylo befriending him, I know! Like I said you’re despicable!”

“No, it was Kylo’s first test. He was meant to prove himself then by delivering the son of the man who hunted and killed the Sovereign’s eldest son, my brother, Ladon. ‘He is different,’ Kylo said. ‘He will not follow in his father’s footsteps.’ All humans are murderous heathens. And yet the Sovereign would accept someone as weak and human loving as Kylo back, even after that betrayal.”

“Hux _IS_ different from his father. Everyone is different from Hux’s father.”

“Nobody is. My kind have been hunted for centuries, captured and put on display or killed for our difference to your kind, for sport. You are saying that we should just ignore what was done and act as if it never happened? MY BROTHER IS DEAD, HUMAN! Kylo was meant to deliver the boy, Hux, to us, but he failed. So you will be the replacement.”

“Kylo is coming back; he’ll be here any moment.”

Calder had come to a stop standing over him. Poe tried to scoot away from him, but his limbs still didn’t want to move properly. He could only inch away until Calder knelt over him, pinning him against the boulder.

“Tell me, human, just how did you manage to catch Kylo’s attention. It is something many of us have wondered about, why he never showed interest in any of his own kind.”

“I sang a song for him.”

He was close enough that Poe could make out other strange features about him beyond his skin coloring. There were long pointed spines projecting from his skin on the back of his arms and front legs. Poe tried to remain calm, but he came to the quick realization that he was going to die after Kylo had done everything to save him and heal his injuries. And Calder saw exactly when he made the realization because he smiled at him.

“I am afraid it will hurt while the poison takes effect, but eventually you will feel nothing. Then you will fall unconscious but you will be suspended for my clan later.”

Calder reached up and brushed the damp curls off his forehead. Poe shivered at the soft touches that were at such a contrast to the crazed expression on his assailant’s face. Poe wanted to look anywhere else, but he could only look into the eyes of the man who was about to kill him.

“Please, don’t.”

“You should sing to me, human. Perhaps I will change my mind about killing you as Kylo did.”

_Don’t watch,_ he thought. _If you don’t watch maybe it won’t really happen. Think of Kylo..._

Then Poe cried out as the first spines pierced his skin, and he tried to distract himself from the pain by singing as the Mer requested.

***

Kylo heard the strained voice of his beloved as he sang, and he knew something was terribly, horribly wrong. He raced up the sand, but was already too late. Poe slumped to the side as he lost consciousness, and Calder stood and stepped away from him.

“CALDER!” he screamed. “WHAT HAVE DONE?”

“What was necessary, Kylo,” was the cold answer he received. “Now help me bring him to the water, so we can bring him to the clan. You do not have to be alone anymore.”

“No!” he growled.

“What did you say?”

“I said ‘No!’ Calder, I will never return to the clan. I will never go with you. I never want to see any of you, or ever have anything to do with you, ever again!”

“What is the matter with you? We have given you everything and every chance to make a better life for yourself, to be great and lead our clan. We destroyed your old clan because your strength and power would be squandered. Why throw that away?”

Kylo felt white hot with anger. Everyone and everything he’d ever loved had been destroyed or taken by Clan Ren.

“You have given me NOTHING! You have only taken everything away from me that I have loved, and you abandoned me. You are wrong about the humans; Sovereign is wrong… and now you have stolen the only one I will ever love like this from me because of his blindness.”

“What about Ladon?”

“He does not make what you have done and what Snoke condones right.”

Calder glanced down at Poe’s prone form and made one last effort to convince Kylo to return.

“He will not wake. The poison has already seen to that. You can come home with me. You can have me instead, one of your own kind. That will be better than some helpless human.”

But Kylo had heard enough. He grabbed Calder and threw him against the rock sheer. He hit the wall, slumped to the ground, and didn’t move from where he landed.

Kylo knelt down next to Poe, but his beloved was limp and his breathing shallow. He had enough sense to pull on a pair of his shorts before lifting Poe from the sand and rushed up the path that lead to the Hux’s beach. He hoped that Hux would head to shore, that he would know that Kylo would have retrieved Poe. So Kylo ran as fast as his legs would carry him.

As he ran out onto the beach towards the boat house where they were hopefully docked Kylo heard voices and knew they were there.

“HUX, WE NEED TO GET BACK OUT THERE AND SEARCH THE WATER!” a lady yelled franticly.

“Just be patient, Rey! I know you don’t understand, but I need you to trust me.”

Kylo knew that voice belonged to Hux.

“I don’t understand why you won’t let us search for him. Why aren’t you letting us call 911? Why did you send Phasma up to get the SUV and drive it directly down here?”

That voice belonged to another male, who sounded more calm than the girl, but not near as calm as Hux. But then, Hux knew, didn’t he? He knew Kylo had Poe.

“HUX!” he called out.

And four people ran around the end of the boat house to see him rushing towards them with Poe in his arms.

“POE!” Both the lady and the shortest man yelled.

They all ran to Kylo and hovered over Poe.

“Please, we need to get him to a… hospital?” Kylo pled. “I think that is what he called it the other day.”

“Yes, Kylo,” Hux answered. “Phasma is bringing the car down now.”

He caught the looks from the others that were mildly curious about him, but mostly maintained their concern for their friend.

“What happened to him? How did you find him? Where did you come from?” They both asked the questions quickly, almost as if they were one person yelling in different voices than two.

“I found him drifting under the water and brought him to shore, but he…on our way in he tripped and fell on a poisonous fish. I did what I could to help him, but he needs more than I can do. Please, we need to hurry.”

Phasma came speeding down the lawns outside of the gardens in her a big black boatlike land vehicle that Kylo didn’t recognize, but he knew it would bring them where Poe needed to be.

“Kylo, we’ll take him from here. You had best be going back.”

“No, Hux. I am not leaving his side. Not again. I am coming, too.”

“I can’t guarantee we will be able to get you back to the water in time.”

“I understand that. I will not be welcome back to the water, not here. Please, let me come… I cannot… I love him. Please! I promised I would take care of him and keep him safe.”

Kylo’s throat felt tight. He couldn’t imagine being separated from Poe, and he very well might die in his arms. He wasn’t entirely sure what was going on around him until he found himself pushed into the car, carefully keeping Poe in his arms.

He noticed how pale he was becoming, how his lips seemed to be turning blue… He truly was dying; the poison was working too fast. Kylo had failed his beloved.

And he felt his eyes start to burn and leak, a sensation he had never experienced before in his life. Tears… he was crying for the one he loved. 

As they sped along, Phasma driving a breakneck speed, they finally came to the road and the SUV jerked violently as it moved onto the pavement. One of Kylo’s tears broke free from the others. It fell from his face and down between Poe’s parted lips.

Kylo didn’t understand how or why it worked, but suddenly Poe’s breathing eased and became deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1- Mers have remarkable powers that we humans do not. They have the ability to cast spells with their songs, and enchant concoctions to give them different properties (ex. the seaweed.) But I find one of the most fascinating of magical properties they have is their tears. Take the story of the Fountain of Youth: two must drink the water of the fountain out of two silver chalices, one with a Mer's tear, one without. The drinker of the cup with the Mer's tear shall gain all the years of life from the drinker without. Also, one tear ingested can stop death in its path...
> 
> 2- I want to talk a bit about The Knights of Ren in this story, but I think I will wait until next chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor kept assuring them that Poe was healing and that he would wake soon, but Kylo had trouble believing it. He’d been raised Mer, so he had no idea how human healing worked. It wasn’t nearly as fast as he would have liked, and he was certain he could have done better with elixirs and seaweed. Hux wouldn’t allow him to suggest it though, and since he was fully aware that most people didn’t know Mers existed Kylo agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I normally add a bit more to the chapter summaries, but in this case I didn't want to give any of it away. 
> 
> I added the last mood board from Peppypear at the end of this chapter. I felt like this one fit the best here. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and see you at the end.

He woke up to strange, quiet beeping noises. He tried to swallow, but his tongue felt so incredibly dry that it didn’t quite work. He hated the thought of opening his eyes because of just how scratchy they might feel, but he knew it was time he returned to the land of the living.

He groaned and shifted, and somebody was there gripping his hand.

“Poe?”

He opened his eyes and stared at the man gripping his hand tightly.

“Pops? What are you doing here?”

Poe cringed at how terrible his voice sounded. It was almost as if he hadn’t used it for days.

That’s when he realized that he wasn’t simply laying in his bed back at the apartment, or the one in the suite at the Hux estate. He was in a hospital room, on one of those beds with the rails on the sides, an IV attached to his arm, and other contraptions strapped here or poked there. It explained why his limbs felt so heavy, why his tongue felt dry, and why his eyes felt like they had sand in them. But why was he there… and why was his father there?

“Finn called me when they brought you in. He told me come immediately, that you had been in an accident while out sailing, and that it was entirely possible I may not make it in time to see you.”

“Pops…”

“I drove straight to the airport. Doph and Phamsa met me when I landed. I was here a day before the doctors said they were sure they’d stopped the poison in time.”

Poe swallowed thickly as he remembered Calder pressing the back of his arm into his stomach and not having the strength to push him off. His breath hitched, he shivered at the memory, and he laid his free arm protectively over where the spines had started injecting their venom.

“Poe, are you okay?”

The question didn’t phase him at all. He was thinking about something else. He wondered if it was memory or a dream that Kylo came back as he passed out…

Kylo…

“Pops, what happened to Kylo?”

Kes blinked confusedly for a moment, and Poe worried for one horrifying minute that his love had only been a dream. Then his father smiled at him.

“It doesn’t surprise me that the first thing you actually think about is him.”

“Have… have you met him?”

“Son, he’s been here the whole time. I mean he and Hux go out for a couple hours once or twice a day, but they always come back with food and fresh clothes for the rest of us. He and I have taken turns sleeping here in case you woke up during the night. I’m starting to see why he reminds you of Shara.”

“So he’s okay? Calder didn’t hurt him?”

“Calder? What are you talking about, Poe?”

“It’s the… It’s what Kylo called whatever I fell on that was poisonous… I think anyways, whatever it was. It must have messed with my head.”

“It could be the injury to your head from the boom on the sailboat.”

“No, I…” he was about to tell his father how his Mer had used Mer Magic to heal his injuries, but he remembered he was in a hospital and it probably wasn’t the best idea to start spouting off crazy stories about your boyfriend and his magical abilities. “Oh, I… I only sort of remember that. I think I was knocked out cold for a while after that. I woke up and Kylo was bringing me to shore.”

“You know, I didn’t know what to think when you told me that you met somebody when we talked a week ago, but I tell you, son, I thank God and the stars and the Ocean that he was sent to you because I am fairly certain that you would not be alive if it weren’t for him.”

“Yeah, Pops, I think he saved my life more than once, and in more ways than one.”

Kes squeezed his hand tightly, then stood and stretched as if he’d been sitting there for hours. Poe realized he probably had.

“I’m going to let the nurses know you’re awake. Your doctor will probably want to examine you.” He walked to the door and stopped. “I’ll also give Hux a call. Let him know they should hurry back.”

“Thanks, Pops.”

A minute later a nurse walked in. She helped raise the bed into an upright sitting position, and then began to check his vitals. She started chatting away, not that Poe listened very much, but he did catch that his doctor had been paged and would be joining them shortly.

What seemed like hours after the doctor did arrive he declared Poe was recovering spectacularly well given the strength and amount of stonefish venom his body absorbed. That was the type of fish that Calder emulated; the most poisonous fish in existence.

“It’s odd that you had in a run-in with them this far north. You had to have landed on about 5 for the amount of venom you were injected with. But you had something in your system that seemed to stop the poison in its tracks. You’re very lucky to be alive.”

“Yeah, thanks, Doc.”

Poe almost told him it was only one, a human sized stonefish with many human features. Every time he thought of Calder he shivered, and he knew he wouldn’t feel relief until he saw Kylo. He knew if Kylo was with him he was truly safe.

“I do have to ask about something though. There’s an injury to your back, it appeared to be an almost complete severing of your spinal column right below the base of your neck, but somehow it’s completely healed. How long ago did you sustain that injury? It was never covered in your files from your years in service, and it’s the type of injury that they normally wouldn’t let anyone enlist with.”

“I… I was unaware I ever had a back injury like that, Doc.”

“You would have at least lost partial feeling in your limbs.”

“I’m sure I’ve never had a back injury like that.”

Poe lied to the Doctor, but how could he tell him it happened as a result of the accident on the boat. Or that his boyfriend had used a Merspell to heal him along with some slimy green elixir?

***

Kylo carried the bags of food Hux had ordered for their meals that evening while Hux had drinks. His stomach growled at the thought of eating, but he knew he would take his strange shell like container of food and pick at it as he sat at Poe’s side. He just couldn’t seem to eat knowing that Poe was beside him, lost to the world. 

Kylo hated to see his beloved with strange tubes puncturing his skin, even if everyone reassured him that they were helping. It reminded him too much of Calder with the spines on his arm embedded in Poe’s stomach.

The doctor kept assuring them that Poe was healing and that he would wake soon, but Kylo had trouble believing it. He’d been raised Mer, so he had no idea how human healing worked. It wasn’t nearly as fast as he would have liked, and he was certain he could have done better with elixirs and seaweed. Hux wouldn’t allow him to suggest it though, and since he was fully aware that most people didn’t know Mers existed Kylo agreed.

They walked into the waiting room the group had taken up residence in since Poe had been admitted to the Hospital. To his surprise Kes had joined Rey and Dopheld there (Phasma and Finn were both at work.) The older man, whom Kylo had gotten to know reasonably well over the past few days, and who insisted he get occasional sleep and that he would be informed immediately if Poe woke up, looked up and smiled.

Kylo gave him a questioning look, and he laughed.

“It’s alright, son,” Kes said warmly. Kylo flushed at being called son, as if he had truly been accepted into the Dameron family. “The doctor is just checking Poe over. Everyone will be allowed back in when he’s done.”

He nodded in response the held up the bags of food.

“Hux bought Thai food for everyone,” he replied lamely as he set the food on the table.

He walked over to the window and sighed heavily. He liked these people, Poe’s friends and his father, but he felt awkward being with them without Poe there. He felt like a huge part of him was missing, and he didn’t know how to handle it. So he tried to keep to himself even though everyone was genuinely curious about him. He felt more comfortable with Hux than the others, and he made more of an effort to talk to Kes then the others for Poe, but he didn’t feel like he truly belonged.

He just wished his beloved would wake.

Everyone except Kylo had started eating when the doctor came down the hall to speak with them. Kylo took a couple hopeful steps toward him, wanting to hear of some major improvement in Poe’s health (and wakefulness.)

“Considering what he’s been through, he’s doing great,” the Doctor told the group. “I’m optimistic that he will recover and be able to live a normal life.” Kylo wasn’t entirely sure what the doctor meant by that, but everyone seemed relieved. “The nurses are just disinfecting and bandaging the wounds, but it won’t take long. You can go on back, if you like.”

The last comment was directed to Kylo. He wasn’t sure how he knew, but he felt it in his gut.

“Go ahead, Kylo,” Phasma said. “We’ll give you some time alone before we all come back to overwhelm him.”

“I…” He cocked his head to the side confused. “Thank you.”

He walked back to the patient rooms, and Kylo shuddered. There was something terrifying about this place, the Hospital, like he could smell the illness and death that ran rampant in the building even with how clean and purified the place was. It was the place Poe would have brought him if he hadn’t used the seaweed to heal himself, so he tried to tell himself it was safe. It didn’t stop him wishing he could heal Poe anywhere else.

He walked into Poe’s room and stopped short. He gasped.

His beloved was sitting up. His beloved was holding his arms up as high as he could handle while the nurse was applying bandages like Poe had applied his seaweed. His beloved was clearly in pain, but trying to work his way through it. His beloved took a moment to open his eyes, and his face morphed from the pained grimace to a delighted smile. His beloved saw him.

His beloved was awake.

It took all his control to not rush over Poe’s side that second, but he hung back to allow the nurse to finish. He wanted his beloved to heal so they could leave and start a life together whatever it might be.

“Alright, Poe, you can lower your arms,” the nurse said to him, and Poe’s attention left him for a moment. “You did well, and physical therapy will help you regain your strength as long as your body fights off the infection.”

“Okay, thanks, Danna,” Poe responded while gritting his teeth as he lowered his arms.

“You’re welcome, sweetie.” She turned away from Poe and smiled at Kylo. “He’s all yours. Take good care of him until I get back.”

“I promise, I will.”

Kylo waited for her to leave the room start down the hall before he rushed to his beloved.

“Poe!!” he cried as he leaned down. He carefully took his face in his hands, minding the bandages over the wound on his head, and he kissed him so very softly. “Thank the Ocean! Calder said you would never wake, and I feared that he was right.”

“Ky…” Poe breathed, and Kylo felt him pulling him closer. He went where his beloved wanted him and carefully sat next to him on the hospital bed. Then they held each other closer.

“I am so sorry I left you, Poe. I should have known he was lurking, I should have felt his presence.”

Poe pressed his forehead to Kylo’s.

“But you saved me. You brought me here.”

“No, that was Phasma, I… I did not know what to do, so I ran for the Hux’s beach. Even then… you were fading so fast… I could not stop the poison from killing you.”

He felt tears start to leak from his eyes again from the mix of relief that Poe was awake at last and remembering the terrible helplessness he had felt.

“Ky, you’re crying?”

He felt Poe gripping at his waist firmly in an attempt to comfort him

“I… I am relieved you are awake. I am ashamed that I let Calder hurt you. And I am sorry that I let you and your father down. I had promised to keep you safe.”

“But Ky… your elixir, it slowed the poison. And the doctor, he said something stopped it dead in his tracks. If it wasn’t you, then what stopped the poison?”

“I do not know. You were so pale, and your lips were turning blue, and I… I thought I was going to lose you. I felt tears fall for the first time…” Kylo stopped and touched the tears on his face. “It…it is just a legend, but it has been said that Mer tears have strong magical properties… that they give life.”

“You see, Ky. You saved me.”

Kylo cuddled down against Poe, still careful not to hurt his beloved, but needing to feel as close as he possibly could.

“So, what has the doctor told you about your injuries and recovery?” he asked as he wrapped a protective arm around Poe.

“The injuries caused by the poisonous spines have become infected. It hurts to hold my arms up or to stand. Doc said as long as my body fights it off, I should be able to lead a normal life again. There is a possibility of having chronic pain, though, due to the poison again, if it affected the right neurological cells.”

“What does that mean? Infected? And chronic pain?”

“Infected…means there is something that is keeping everything from healing properly, something that makes the wounds sick. And chronic pain is having pain forever.”

“Poe...How do we stop it? I cannot give you an elixir here. My tears are already dry. How do I keep you safe from this?”

“I don’t know that you can.”

“I have to. I promised.” He glanced down at Poe’s bandaged stomach and he knew what he could do.

He gently slid himself down the bed a bit, curling his legs up so they didn’t dangle over the lower end of it. Then he placed one large hand over the bandage and gently moved his finger tips around in circles as if he were massaging Poe’s stomach very, very lightly. And then he started to sing softly.

He didn’t know how long he sang and kept his fingers moving over the bandage, but he stopped when he heard Poe sigh.

“I could listen to you sing forever.”

“You could, you know. I would sing for you forever, as long as you sing back to me every once in a while.”

“I think I could handle that. What did it mean? The words you sang weren’t English.”

“They were not any human dialect. They were Mer. It means… It is a plea to the Ocean, that it gives me the strength and ability to heal my beloved. That wounds will mend and illnesses will be overcome and pain will fade. That my beloved will always be safe and that we will be protected together.”

“That’s beautify, Ky. Maybe someday you can teach me to speak Mer.”

Kylo looked up at Poe shyly.

“If it means I get to keep you forever?”

“Yeah, it does.”

***

While still in the hospital Kylo told Poe of his final conversation with Calder and how he found out that the clan he’d called his family for much of his life had actually stolen him from his real family. He talked more about what he remembered of being a youngling.

“Kylo is not the name my forebears gave me,” He explained to his beloved the day before he was discharged from the hospital. “This name was given to me by Sovereign.”

“Well, what’s your real name?” Poe asked, very interested. “Do you want me to use that name instead?”

“I might, but it has been so long. I do not remember that name anymore. Perhaps the only way I will remember it is to find my old clan.”

Poe took his hand and squeezed it.

“Is there anything I can do to help you find them?”

Kylo smiled warmly at him and felt his heart swell with a powerful mixture of emotions; pride that Poe would offer to help him so freely, relief that he was open to the idea of Kylo his family them after what Clan Ren did to them, apprehension because he didn’t even want to consider leaving Poe so soon and while he needed him, and more love than Kylo ever thought he could feel for anyone or anything.

“I do not believe so, Beloved, unless you are suddenly able to become Mer or have the clairvoyance to know exactly where they are right now.”

“Sorry, Ky, I don’t think I have either of those abilities.”

He also told Poe of a conversation he had with Hux about finding Calder, but when Mr. Lars explored the cove that Kylo had called home for so long there was no body there.

Either Calder survived and made it back to the water, or he was found after not returning, taken, and consumed by Clan Ren. Either scenario didn’t bode well for Kylo because the Clan would know who caused the harm to Sovereign’s son. It didn’t bode well for Poe either because the Clan knew exactly who to go after to seek revenge.

***

Those first three months were difficult for them, too, trying to merge their wildly different lives together. At times both wondered how they would make it with Kylo adjusting to being away from the water so much and how different it was living as a human, and Poe going to physical therapy and psychological therapy and figuring out what career direction he really wanted to go. Some days it was a hard scramble to get Kylo to the water in time or Poe to the correct appointment. Some days there was tension between them, and some days the tension boiled over in screaming matches.

But they always went back to their shared apartment (Finn still visited often, but had happily moved in with Hux) and would curl up in bed together. The last thing they did everyday was go to the Ocean for a few hours so Kylo wouldn’t lose his tail. That meant he always went to bed smelling of and having his skin still slightly slick from the ocean water. And for whatever reason Poe always felt safer and happier knowing Kylo was there with the smell of the Ocean on him.

***

Though Kylo never wanted to leave Poe’s side, once Poe was home and his strength was finally becoming what it had been when they met at the Hux estate he started to think about finding his family clan again. He knew it would not be an easy search, but he felt it was something he needed to do. Poe reluctantly agreed that Kylo should go looking, though he also hated the thought of them being separated for so long. But his love deserved to find the people he was taken from and to have a chance to know them again.

Kylo left twice for three days at a time, and returned with no indication of where that clan may be.

He left the third time, again with the plan that he would return in three days. But on the third day he never showed up. Poe knew he wouldn’t leave and never come back so he kept checking their normal secluded spot where Kylo swam to keep his tail. He missed a couple therapy sessions because he was so worried and he didn’t want to miss Kylo when he did come back.

He didn’t return for over a week. When he crawled back onto the beach where Poe brought him for his water time, both knew Kylo was lucky to be alive.

“You were attacked?” Poe asked.

“It was not bad,” Kylo panted. “I was able to get away from them before they did any damage, and I do not believe they followed me here.”

“Kylo, you can’t go back out there if Clan Ren found you.”

He just nodded sadly.

“If they found me out there, they will find us here.”

“We’re not safe.”

“No.”

“Then we’ll leave.”

So they talked about their options. The first was Kylo could leave the Ocean for good, but their unspoken agreement was to never use that option. The second was to take their chances staying where they were, which, again was an option they knew they couldn’t take. The last was to move where they would not be followed or found by Clan Ren.

“Where is it your father lives?”

“Pops lives in Ocean City, Maryland. It’s right on the coast.”

“It is on the Ocean?”

“It’s why it’s called Ocean City, Ky.”

“What if we moved to him?”

“Moved to Pops?”

“We will be near the Ocean, then, but far away from Clan Ren. And that way we will be with family, even if I cannot find mine.”

Poe jumped on Kylo, hugging him fiercely, as if it were the best idea anyone ever had.

***

It wasn’t easy for them to pack up and leave their friends, but somehow everyone agreed it was for the best. Knowing the real why they made the sudden decision to move to the East Coast, Hux offered both of them positions in the developing and production division of his Combat Armor company. Kylo had no idea what that meant, but Poe knew Kylo wouldn’t fit in there. Poe also knew that his salary alone would be enough for them to live on, so he encouraged Kylo to take his time finding a career he would enjoy if he even wanted to work.

Poe was sure he would enjoy and thrive in the new job. It was a way for him to protect and help people like the ones he lost in the crash. And he was happy because he would be working out of the Naval Air Station near Virginia Beach.

It didn’t take them long to find a small place right on the beach. It wasn’t exactly as secluded as they would have preferred, but Kylo could slip into the water with the hoards of people and nobody had any idea the remarkable swimmer had a tail.

***

Kylo didn’t understand the rings they wore. Yes, he knew they were a symbol of their love, a promise Poe had said, and a way for them to show others they belonged to each other, but Mers had other ways of putting that on display.

Even if he didn’t understand, Kylo could see Poe standing a little taller and a little prouder every time he looked down at the golden band around the third finger on his left hand.

His beloved also joked about how maybe they could get ideas for their own wedding when they attended Hux and Finn’s the next summer. Kylo had no idea what that meant.

They had been living in the small house on the beach for two months, and there were strange trees with lights and big fat men with white hair and red suits everywhere. Poe said it was a holiday, and Kylo didn’t understand until his beloved explained that it was a celebration that almost everyone took part of with their families. He thought he might enjoy that type of celebration and insisted they go spend at least a week with Kes.

Poe laughed happily and agreed.

***

They were at a grand party, and there were people everywhere. If they hadn’t been living on the beach for a few months already, Kylo might have been surprised at the vast amounts of people around him. He tried to keep a tight grip on Poe’s hand so he wouldn’t lose him, but Poe stayed as close as he could to him. Kylo was glad for it.

When they arrived at Kes’s after a rather short notice they found out that he had been invited to a Christmas Party thrown by a local Senator and her war hero husband. Kes had served in the war with him, and Shara and the Senator had been friends before Shara died. Poe vaguely remembered them, it had been quite a few years since he’d seen them, but could only tell Kylo their names were Senator Organa and General Solo.

Kylo and Poe had both been doing well with the hustle and bustle of the crowds around them, but as the party continued on Kylo could tell Poe’s tolerance was starting to wear thin. They explored the home a bit more than they probably should have, but they found a quiet corner where they could be alone for a while and hopefully nobody would find them there.

Poe excused himself a few minutes earlier to use the restroom, and Kylo found himself wandering around the room with strange chairs and couches. There were things everywhere, things Kylo had never seen before such as little sculptures and paintings. There were also pictures of humans; he assumed they were of the hosts of the party along with other people they knew. Kylo was utterly fascinated at all the captured scenes these people were in and had collected.

Then he glanced up at a larger picture mounted on the wall and he froze. He simply stared at that photograph for five minutes before he moved towards it. Then he reached up to touch it, almost expecting the faces to have dimension instead of being printed on a flat surface.

That was how Poe found him, staring in awe at the large picture with fingers touching the planes of a face and the curve of a nose.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked him as he slotted himself against his side.

Kylo instinctively wrapped his arm around his beloved, but didn’t look away in his open mouthed reverie.

“That’s the Organa-Solos from around the time my mom died,” Poe explained. When he still didn’t get a response from Kylo he shook him a bit. “Hey, Ky, what’s going on?”

Finally he tore his eyes away from them, from her, and looked down at Poe.

“She is familiar to me. He is vaguely familiar, too, but her…it is like I know her.”

Poe looked like he had another question for Poe, but they were interrupted when Kes walked around a corner with two people following him.

“Ever since it happened, Poe’s been a bit weary in crowds, so they could be back here,” Kes explained as they walked in and looked up. “See here they are. Poe, you remember Han and Leia, don’t you?”

“Of course I do, Pops!” Poe replied as he grinned and walked over to give them hugs. “Thank you for inviting Kylo and I at the last minute.”

“It’s no problem, kid,” the man, Han, said with a slight chuckle, and a light slap to Poe’s back.

“We are delighted to see you again,” Leia agreed, hugging him tightly. “And when Kes called saying you and your fiancé were visiting for the holidays we knew we had to invite you. It felt like you were our son, too, so it is very exciting to know you have finally found love.”

“Thanks! This is him, this is my Kylo,” Poe gestured towards him, and Kylo took a step forward.

He started to offer his hand for a shake, but he stopped and froze. He did know her… he knew them both, but it seemed thoroughly impossible. How could they be here…now...

And they were staring at him strangely, too. He supposed Poe and Kes were staring at them strangely, too, but only because they were confused by what was going on.

“I looked for you,” he finally said lamely, but he had no idea what else he should say. “When I found out they took me, I… I had to take care of Poe, but I tried to look for you, too.”

“It seems the Ocean knew exactly what it was doing last summer, bringing you and Poe together,” Leia responded.

“Ky, what’s going on?” Poe asked.

He looked down at his beloved and offered him a dazed smile, but he was saved from trying to find the words to explain by his mother.

“Poe, I do not know if you realize this, but you have brought us someone we thought we lost so very long ago. You have brought us our son, Ben.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 - Stonefish are the most venomous fish known. They are a reef fish that easily blends in with the rocks and reefs. They are an ambush predator that hides and waits for their victims. Their spines have been known to pierce the soles of boots. They are the only fish that has control over whether they shoot their venom or not. Calder is a Stonefish Mer.
> 
> 2 - The Knights of Ren featured in this story: Loden of Clan Ren was the oldest son of Sovereign Pontus Snoke. Loden was the most fair and just of Clan Ren, but was hunted and killed by Brendol Hux for the sport of finding something strange and different. Phorkys of Clan Ren is evil for the sake of being evil. If he can cause pain and harm and suffering, he will. Zarya of Clan Ren was the mate of Loden. When her mate was killed she vowed to never leave a human alive if she ever came across one, and was furious when Kylo befriended the boy, Hux, instead of take him. Calder of Clan Ren was the youngest son of Sovereign Snoke. He idolized his eldest brother and was lost when he was killed. Then their clan attacked another and he was left in charge of caring for the new youngling, Kylo. Calder adored Kylo, cared for him deeper than he cared for any other (except, perhaps, Loden,) so when Kylo was sent to hunt the boy, Hux, and ended up befriending him and saving him instead, Calder became insanely jealous. He wanted Kylo for himself, so he went to Sovereign to punish Kylo, and he attacked Poe for the same reason.
> 
> 3 - So I know I have a strange writing style, but for those of you who don't know about it... I start with a basic idea, and then I go where the story wants to go. Example: When I wrote the scene where Poe and Kylo officially meet and Kylo kisses the tears from Poe's face I hadn't planned to have Kylo's tears save Poe from certain death from being stabbed by Stonefish Calder. (Calder wasn't even in my scope of being part of the story at that time) I honestly go where the story wants. Yes, I have power over the story and I can make it go where I want it to, but I have a very difficult time doing that. And really, letting the story go where it wants to works quite well for me.
> 
> 4 - Which brings me to the ending. All along I had the intentions of Kylo finding part of his family. If he stayed Mer he was going to find his mother. If he left the water for good, and lived as a human, he would have found his father. But I like it ending this way, where he gets the best of both worlds.
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed my story. Kudos and comments are always appreciated! And if you want come over to tumblr and check out my blog. https://delisalicious.tumblr.com/ Thanks a bunch!


	10. Thank you!

So I felt it was necessary to add a page of thanks for all the help and support I received for this fic.

First I would like to thank Tenukii for setting up the BenPoe/AlLlewyn Summer Mini Bang. This was so much fun, and I hope we do this again next year! And for those of you who love our Darkpilot/Knightpilot and AlLlewyn ships, go check out their AO3(https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenukii) and look at their great Canon and AU stuff...Read Wormwood! Read everything, but, seriously, read Wormwood. Thank you so much for everything!

Next I would like to thank everyone who helped me on my creative way. That means the people who I was able to go to to bounce ideas off of throughout my creative process...Gaylo-ben, idrilhadhafang/brokenedgeben, Davechicken/Sithofren, and Frostedashes. Thank you all for helping me keep my creative juices flowing.

Thanks to all those who read, all those who kudo-ed, and those who commented. I love you all, and thank you so much for your support!!!<3 Maggpie, I am sorry I didn't respond to your comment in a timely manner. I had a bad week, and by the time I got to responding to anything, it was gone...You commented that you would definitely read a sequel...Well, you put a bee in my bonnet, and I have ideas and a bit of a plan.

And lastly to my artists Peppypear and Gaylo-ben. 

Peppypear, the mood boards are breathtaking and I though you captured the mood of this fic perfectly! 

Gaylo-ben, you really captured Kylo perfectly! All thick, amazing, and beautiful, and desperate to save his beloved, Poe! And beautiful, gorgeous, injured Poe...why didn't I think to have Poe remove the hoodie while sitting on the top of the sail boat, I'll never know.

Thank you both for being so great to work with! <3<3<3

 

Thanks again everyone! 

<3


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